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Problems in blended families and how to fix them



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hi there I'm Liam Maiden marriage and

relationships coach are you a stepparent

and you're having problems with your

stepchildren maybe you're a stepchild

and you're having problems with your

stepparents well if you are and you're

in the situation where you have a

blended family you're probably not

realizing it's one of the most difficult

situations you've faced in your life and

as a marriage in relationships coach

I've worked with many people and seen

the effects of problems and conflicts

have in a blended family between step

parents and stepchildren and even

between the two parents themselves and

in fact it's one of the major causes of

strain and stress on a marriage

relationship you know it wasn't so long

ago that I found myself in the situation

where I was suddenly thrown into having

for stepchildren of my own and Wow talk

about a culture shock and if you've been

in that situation you'll you'll know

what I'm talking about but what I

realized is what I see before it's one

of the most difficult things you will

ever have to deal with in your life is

being a stepparent or even a stepchild

as well now why is that why is it so

difficult why is it so hard to work out

what to do and and people having

conflict and maybe you're getting

resentment from your stepchildren or one

or more of them and maybe even if things

are going pretty well most of the time

you're just aware that things could be

better that you could really find a way

to live together easily and get some

love and respect developing so why is

that so difficult to achieve well I

think there are a few reasons but really

what it comes down to is the fact that a

step family a blended family is

completely different to a biological

family one in which there are two

natural parents with their natural

children and I think most of the

problems come from the fact that when

we're in a situation as a stepparent we

the only rules if you like and the only

way we can try and put things together

is to try and move

into some sort of biological family unit

and that's where the problem lies it's

completely different so you need a

different set of rules and you need a

different set of expectations and if

you've got stepchildren and you're

trying to treat them in a certain way

and they're not sure about you and your

husband or your wife isn't sure about

how you should be treating their

children or even how you should be

treating your own children and and

you're not sure how your spouse your

husband or wife should be treating your

children and treating their children and

treating you it's all just complicated

stuff isn't it and of course the other

thing we have in a step family or a

blended family that we don't have in a

biological family as we have the

influence of all sorts of other people

as well there are the ex-husbands the

ex-wives and they've got their

relationships with their children who

might be in your family so I know this

sounds complicated but I'm sure you

agree it is complicated but you know it

doesn't have to be that way you can

actually get to a situation where

everybody gets on really well

everybody's thriving and your

relationships are just a lot smoother

and you know the real benefit from that

is the relationship you have with your

spouse with your husband or your wife

because a lot of the problems a lot of

the stresses in a blended family in a

blended relationship come from confusion

and conflict with the children and of

course just as an aside you didn't sign

up for all these other people did you

not just the children but also the exes

in your ex I guess you just wanted to

have a good relationship with this new

person that you'd met and fallen in love

with and really let us do what you want

to do and that's the whole purpose of

you being in this family situation well

the good news is if you've got all these

problems and conflicts and you realize

that things could go better but you just

don't know how to do it I've actually

come up with a system and I've turned

this into a program called my happy

blended family program and the reason

I've done this is because both from my

own experience

and with working with many people I've

seen as a pattern there's a way to put

things together with nearly all of the

conflicts if not all of them actually do

disappear and you can get on with having

a really happy

thriving happy blended family so I've

turned it into this program and if

you're having any issues with your

stepchildren your stick family maybe one

of them's resentful towards you maybe

you're not getting any cooperation at

all

maybe it's causing some real problems

between you and your spouse then have a

look at my happy blended family program

that's going to show you a system that

will really simply and very very

effectively resolve most of the issues

if not all in your blended family and

you can get back to life to living life

as you really want to being happy and

the good news is everyone else will be

happy as well so please check that out

and just as one thing the reason people

ask me why do you create programs why

don't you do stew coaching or or

counseling and what's the difference

between your programs in coaching your

counseling well what I've found with and

I do do obviously I do private coaching

as well but what I found with the

programs is that they're a lot more

effective and the reason for that is if

you've been to a counselling session

you'll know that you can take plenty of

notes you can really try and remember

what the person said but at the end of

the day you don't it's it's not humanly

possible to remember everything they

said and to apply it and you know I've

come out of counseling sessions myself

and thought what did they say I forgot

so it's not as effective but with a

coaching program you get to listen to

the audios and do the worksheets as

often as you like and some of the

concepts that I have in my programs

aren't difficult but you need to get it

you need to really get into the start

applying it and that only comes with

hearing more than once and really being

able to stop and listen stop the program

at any point and listen to it and think

about the idea until you really take it

on board and start to apply it so if

you're on a blended family situation if

you have stepchildren

or if you know somebody else who's

having problems in their step family

situation check out my happy blended

family program all the details are on my

website and I look forward to helping

you and turning yours into a happy

blended family which is what you deserve

I look forward to helping you achieve

that soon bye for now