How To Become An Active Listener

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Tok Tok Tok Tok Tok verbal communication

is the most common way we speak to one

another but the thing is are we really

using the two most important tools for

communication you know what I'm talking

about our ears how well we listen can

have a huge impact on the quality of our

relationships so are we really listening

to what we're saying to each other

you're watching mrow TV stick around I'm

gonna share with you five simple steps

and becoming an active listener now

before I get started make sure you hit

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free newsletter now the reason I bring

up this topic is because I believe

communication is the most important

component in any relationship

professional or not in just a bit I'm

going to be sharing with you a

step-by-step process and becoming an

active listener but first I want to say

this the fact is you really aren't

listening to what I'm saying right now

everything you're hearing is becoming an

interpretation what you're hearing is

either aligned against or neutral to

your beliefs and more often than not

when people talk to each other

we're often distracted half listening or

thinking about something else we listen

to obtain information to understand to

enjoy ourselves through stories and to

learn while many people claim that

they're good listeners the result of how

well we listen is reflect on how I began

to conflict or misunderstanding

let's say we do get into a conflict with

a friend coworker spouse when we're in

this situation more often than not we're

busy formulating a response so we can

win the argument instead of paying

attention here's the deal hearing is a

natural gift that many of us are blessed

to have listening on the other hand is a

skill most of the arguments that we tend

to run to are simply that

misunderstandings when we're in a

conflict we often contradict one another

we deny each other's description of the

situation this causes defensiveness

lashing out or withdrawal

active listening allows you to respond

to the person

improves mutual understanding becoming a

better listener not only improves

understanding it builds trust and tends

to open people up this also allows you

to get to a resolution quicker instead

of trying to go around in circles trying

to explain yourself to one another so

here's how you can be an active listener

today number one pay attention

give this person a hundred percent of

your undivided attention

this means eye contact body language and

presence be solely focused on what this

person has to say

don't mentally prepare to rebuttal to be

involved use your own body language to

show that you're really engaged with

what they're saying look in side to side

looking over them looking down just

comes off as insincere a lot of what's

being said is also being communicated

through the body so pay attention now I

know this can be a little tricky so here

a couple tips make sure your posture is

open and inviting crossed arms can

normally read as being closed I

encourage you the person to continue by

saying AHA or verbal comments such as

yeah gotcha listen to their body


Becky our personal beliefs can filter in

the start we'll be here to improve our

skill as listeners it's our

responsibility to really understand with

what's being said here's how you can do

that say that you're in conflict that

someone's telling you theater like how

you treated that one person here's how

you can reflect on what they say to you

what I'm hearing you say is that you

didn't like how I treated that person

reflect on what's being said ask

questions to clarify points what do you

mean when you say and then you repeat

what they just said to you or you can

say is this what you mean when so on and

so forth repeat what they just said so

summarize what they're saying from time

to time and if you find yourself

responding more emotionally to what

someone said say so and then elaborate I

may not be understanding you correctly

and I find myself taking what you said

personally what I thought you said is

is that what you meant step 4

don't judge interrupting is the hugest

waste of time it frustrates the person

speaking and limits the full

understanding of the message allow that

person to finish each point before

asking any questions and don't interrupt

with counter arguments and 5 respond

appropriately attacking the person are

putting them down does nothing for

anyone the whole point is that you're

gaining information and a perspective so

be open and honest in your response but

also be respectful on how you give your

opinions I know this is all easier said

than done but like I said it's a skill

it takes a lot of hard work and

determination to become a really good

active listener especially if you've

never practiced it put aside of how you

think things should be and really focus

on what the person has to say the more

you practice this the more you improve

on your communication and maybe even

your relationships remember every step

can lead to a small win and every small

win can lead to a big victory and that's

it for today's video if you liked this

video make sure you hit subscribe so

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helpful in any way hit like and share

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share really what you think and if you

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subscribe to my free newsletter that's

it forever ITV and I'll catch you guys

later how well we listen can have a huge

hit like it sends path