How to beat A Cps Case
HOW TO WIN A CPS CASE
0:00 / 0:00
Quality:
Sharing buttons:
what's up you guys welcome to today's
video so
today's video is going to be kind of
different in that i'm going to be
sharing with you how i got custody of my
daughter back
do's and don'ts of a cps or dhs case
and just kind of my advice on how to go
about that whole process
if you find yourself in the unfortunate
circumstance of having your kid placed
in foster care
it's scary it's terrible it's
gut-wrenching but there are definite
ways to go about
regaining your custody so that's what
today's video is going to be
if you're new here my name is jess i'm a
recovering addict who served time in
prison
i'll leave more stories about me in the
description box down below
without further ado let's go ahead and
get started
so let me give you guys some of a back
story um on why my daughter was placed
in foster care so i found out i was
pregnant a couple of weeks after i was
arrested in 2011
and i was in denial for a long time
because i couldn't mentally process
that i knew i was going to prison and i
didn't know how to go to prison pregnant
in the past i have seen girls come in
and out of the jail
that were pregnant or that found out
they were pregnant there so i had seen
that process
but i never paid any attention to it
because for some reason in my mind i
thought i would never be a parent i
thought there's no way i'm ever
going to have kids there's no way i'm
ever going to be a mom because
let's be honest i was not maternal
whatsoever i literally had a pet turtle
that i
lost like he was supposed to outlive me
and somehow he didn't make it okay like
my life was crazy
r.i.p fred wherever you are so
um i was very distraught and very scared
and i didn't know how to go about any of
that
so long story short i get sent to prison
and the prison had caseworkers coming in
periodically and they'd asked me for
phone numbers or relatives or
people that we could contact to try to
place my daughter with family
as i have mentioned before my family is
in new york and they just
financially could not travel to arkansas
stay in arkansas
and go to court and deal with all of
this
and i have received you know criticism
on saying that because it's very easy on
the outside looking in to be like i
would i don't care what it cost i would
have done it but
if you don't have the money you don't
have the money you know family court is
long and it's expensive and
my family just didn't have the means to
do that we tried
to go about placing my daughter with her
biological father's family they're all
really good people
but it didn't work out so micah
inevitably went into foster care i
didn't know where micah was or that she
was okay or what she looked like
for almost four months and then finally
i got a picture of her
i was terrified that whole time that
something was wrong
obviously no one was telling me anything
i couldn't contact anybody she was just
in the system and i was in prison and
there was nothing i could do
and that was so difficult for me after
she was born i had extreme postpartum
depression and ptsd to the point where i
couldn't even speak
and i was kept in the infirmary i'm just
trying to like wrap it all in here
so mentally i was not doing good
um i was able to to um
kind of regain mental stability so
at six months i went to a court hearing
for her and i got to meet her for the
first time since she was two days old
because after i gave birth in prison she
was placed in the foster care system
and i went back to prison she went to
foster care so at six months old i got
to hold her for the first time
for 15 minutes in chambers and in that
moment
i thought i'll do whatever it takes to
be your mom
whatever it takes if this judge tells me
to stand on my head
and walk 10 miles i'm standing on my
head you know
whatever it takes so my first piece of
advice here is
do what the judge tells you to do
not what you think she meant or he meant
exactly what they tell you to do
so every case is different every judge
is different every state is different
everything's different right the people
are different
all of it's different there's different
laws and statues and time limits and
restrictions
so i just want to be very clear here
this is my personal
experience and my personal advice i
can't tell you what to do
i'm just telling you what worked for me
and maybe that helps
so my first piece of advice listen to
the judge do whatever that judge says
for me that meant a whole long
list of things okay so i knew when i was
in prison
that they were going to ask me to do
parenting classes and addiction
classes and all of that so i started
that in prison
i started as quickly as i could i
started as soon as i could mentally you
know get out of
the trauma that i was dealing with as
soon as i was able to you know heal
mentally
after birth that's when i started the
parenting classes i did parenting
thinking errors uh naa i did everything
and i kept track of it all
once i completed these classes i kept
all of my certificates to hand to the
judge
because i can't waste any time so first
piece of advice
listen to what that judge has to say do
exactly what they say
number two be proactive
you know before a judge or a caseworker
tells you that you have to do parenting
classes
find one and sign up for it immediately
if it is part of your case plan to
remain sober do so you can get a
recovery coach or a sponsor and again
that all falls under the umbrella of be
proactive be proactive about this you
know
do every single thing in your power to
make the judge
see that you want to be a part of your
child's life and that you'll do anything
necessary to regain custody you know and
being proactive
is a huge thing if you show initiative
like i have a recovery coach or a
sponsor and i'm staying clean and
they will test you if that's part of
your plan um
letting the judge know that you're
willing to take these steps is a huge
plus number three do not get frustrated
now that is a freaking mountain because
any time you're dealing with
uh family court it is frustrating and
it's difficult and
sometimes these cases take a long time
you know
and when you're newly sober if that is
the situation
it can be difficult because it's like
come on man i've been sober 90 days i
just want my baby
be patient and try not to get frustrated
now i just want to throw this in here
the caseworker can recommend things to
you
but the caseworker is guessing okay the
caseworker has no idea what the judge is
going to say
and i'm saying that because i had a
caseworker specifically tell me multiple
times
you're not making enough progress we're
going to ask the judge to petition to
terminate your rights
she told me that two or three times and
that was very difficult for me to hear
because i was working
so hard and i had made a list of
everything that i needed to accomplish i
needed a driver's license
well back it up i need to get a birth
certificate and a social security card
first
because i didn't have any of that in
arkansas that's a whole other challenge
then i need a car but oh back it up i
don't have the money for a car so i have
to figure it out
that was a requirement i needed an
apartment with my name on the lease
as a felon that's difficult that took me
months
i had to have a reliable source of
income to prove that i could take care
of my kid
that was difficult as a felon and the
caseworker told me that working two jobs
she told me that working two jobs seems
like i'm all over the place and i need
one consistent
job now again the judge didn't tell me
that
the case worker speculated that the
judge might not like that
but i kind of took her word as
everything because i didn't know any
better
so the point i'm making here is you
don't know what the judge is going to
say
every single thing the case worker says
to you double check with the judge when
you do have your court hearings
but you know because she said that i was
frantically trying to find a job and i
just
happened to find a freight broking job a
lot of transportation in arkansas
um so i was able to work at a company
called landstar i had a desk and like
it was like one consistent steady job
and so
i was able to do that i was finally able
to get a car and kind of just check off
the whole case plan
you know one thing at a time but at
first
it seems like a mountain right like they
have all these things they want me to do
and i'm just one person
so do what the judge says be proactive
know that the caseworker is merely
speculating on what
the judge is going to say if the judge
tells you to stay away from certain
people
you stay away from certain people it
seems so daunting when that happens to
you
it seems like it seems like you're never
going to
be made whole again after your baby is
taken from you and i know how difficult
that is
but you can do this if you are going
through that situation right now i
promise you you can do this
it can be very difficult at times very
frustrating at times
emotionally physically draining but you
can do this you are strong enough
another piece of advice is to be on time
be on time for
court appearances for visitation drug
testing be
on time for everything it just shows
that you're serious
you know um i'm i'm very much a virgo so
being late gives me anxiety
but i'm always five minutes early that
just shows that i'm here i'm dedicated
i'm on time i showed up
let's get this done right so be on time
another piece of advice is ask questions
can i do this
okay you don't want me to do that what
can i do instead um
am i going to be able to have an
extension if i can't do these things on
time
you know ask questions make sure you
fully understand
what that judge has set out for you
understand the case plan that they've
laid out
and if that means asking a million
questions you ask all those questions
you have to be
very clear of what they are requiring of
you
understand it go through every single
thing in your court documents
to fully understand what you're going to
do another piece of advice is to write
down these things
with everything that i do um i make
lists
and for some reason like the mind and
the mind connection to writing things
down
helps it helps me helps me get a
clear-cut plan of what to do
because if you're told to do 20 things
it's like oh my god there's 20 things in
my brain and it's just
it's all over the place right so be
organized write this stuff down
ask questions understand the case plan
and make a clear
blueprint of how you're going to go
about tackling this case another piece
of advice is to have your house
clean life is now life is messy but
keeping a house that's clean and
organized if a caseworker drops in to
just inspect the house
um they're going to see a clean space
they report everything to the judge so
it is very important that you leave them
very little room for criticism
so just keeping a clean space if the
case worker drops over
again it leaves them very little room
for criticism and it looks like you got
your life together so
someone walked in my house right now
they'd be like oh my god girl get it
together
another piece of advice is if the judge
is asking you to get
certain items for your child but you
can't afford them
there are plenty of places that donate
supplies for
parents in need um so reach out to your
local communities
churches things like that and see if
they have a donation pile see if you can
get things donated to you
um whether that's a crib or just you
know basic things clothes for your
for your baby whatever you need if you
cannot afford it there's a lot of
resources for parents so
definitely look into that the last piece
of advice that i have for you guys
is to stay strong i know that when this
happens it's so
gut-wrenching because it's your baby but
you can do this
you can regain custody there was a time
where i didn't think that i would be
able to regain custody of my daughter
i remember calling the foster parents
crying in the halfway house
the caseworker said i'm running out of
time the caseworker said i'm running out
of time
i was very fortunate to have a foster
family that said i could
have an open communication with micah if
the judge ruled in their favor and they
were going to
um put micah up for adoption i was
grateful for that
that knowing that i would always um have
access to my daughter but i knew in my
heart and soul that she belonged with me
i'm gonna end today's video here
hopefully um hopefully this advice helps
you guys
if you wanna hear more stories about the
challenge of uh
of working a dhs case after prison and
being on parole and navigating through
all of those things
please let me know i'd be more than
happy to make more videos like this for
you guys
as always stay safe stay sober you are
so much stronger than you know and i
will see you in my next one
you
