hi and welcome to thriver TV the place
to break free from NASA cystic abuse
with quantum tools and understandings
and just before I get started I'd like
to say such a special thank you to the
beautiful Laura and I'm wearing your
earrings that you sent me for my
birthday so thank you you're such a
gorgeous gorgeous girl you really are
all righty so let's get started on this
week's topic narcissist
trigger us into more things than just
despair and feeling powerless we feel
mad violated taken as a fool manipulated
and lied to in fact I think there are
very few things that make people is
angry it's feeling deceived and betrayed
narcissists do all of that in ways that
we couldn't even imagine having happened
to anyone let alone ourselves it's just
awful and of course we want to stop them
we want to do what we can
yet the ways we try to stop them hurting
us and the exact ways that hand them
more bullets to shoot us down with so in
this video today I'm going to teach you
how to beat the narcissist at their own
game without needing to expose them or
make them wrong and the irony is you
will expose them and you will make them
wrong but that's not what you're setting
out to do so listen closely because
you're going to find out the subtle
difference that is powerful beyond
measure in this our greatest driver in
life is to feel safe and secure to know
that we will have shelter food
continuing security and dependable love
and community narcissus have a way of
threatening everything including a
mental sanity and emotional stability
and it's not an
ranges statement to say that narcissus
rip into us at the very fabric of our
deepest primal needs as well as at the
construction of our souls could anyone
hurt us as much possibly not what
happens when we're triggered into
feeling small batted shameful as
narcissus is so good at projecting into
and onto us and powerless this we run
around like a headless Chuck chicken
that's an Aussie expression Chuck trying
to expose the narcissist to others so
that we can have allies to help us and
we try to force the narcissist to admit
that they're wrong
make them atone and stop them doing what
they're doing however the results are
disastrous people think that we're crazy
fractured and our victimized energy does
not inspire support raga it makes us
look like the one with the problems and
when we try to force the narcissist to
take it back admit they're wrong and
start acting like a decent person
they simply twist it and turn it all and
abuse us more now this is where we need
to go quantum because we're not going to
get to the truth of it unless we do
there's a powerful energetic law at work
here so within so without and this means
that any action we take from the inner
trauma a feeling small powerless
shameful and broken is going to generate
more of that emotion first isn't
necessary here it's essential in fact
because until we get and major shift on
the inside nothing is going to work for
us on the outside
so much in this community and even in my
own life lately has been coming up about
persecution programs tons of it
everywhere
it's about this stuff when we feel under
attack and our security and the very
fabric of our life is threatened and
when this happens we feel that ice-cold
terror in our veins which is actually
coursing through every cell in our body
it's the horror of the possibility of
being annihilated literally and that's
exactly what your inner being is
activated these dreadful feelings I'm
small I'm powerless I'm defenseless
against this and when we're not okay on
the inside yet that's exactly what it
feels like narcissus operate that way
they hit you at your greatest fear they
activate your terror of annihilation
programs and they know that you're going
to be severely triggered and powerless
as a result they seek to chop you down
at your very roots and I promise you
that this stuff was huge for me
it had hamstrung me my entire life and
it caused me to be an easy target for
abuse and it made me hand over power
resources money and myself over and over
again like an attempt by a timid animal
to bear its neck to an attacker to not
be injured well guess lives like so many
of us of course I was injured in fact I
was very nearly annihilated and of
course I had to learn to be my own solid
sure power source namely commit to my
soul's personal evolution journey
and that is what this is all about for
you getting you there as well and when
we make it our mission to develop beyond
our powerless emotions and when we do
the work on the inside regardless of
what is going on on the outside and
especially because of what is going on
on the outside because if we want to
know what our inner world is doing all
we have to do is check out what's going
on in our outer world so within so
without
then we move out of powerless into power
ful and we connect to the only place
power can ever be generated from inside
us now I'm going to jump ahead I'm going
to give you your goal in all of this
your destination where you will beat the
narcissist and then we're going to work
backwards to work out how to achieve
that so this is it the goal a thing
completely transparent in your life with
everyone that the narcissist tries to
pull in to throttle us some talking
about family friends authorities as in
the case of abuse by proxy anyone at all
you present the facts rationally calmly
and factually and if there are any
amends to make or any secrets that the
narcissist has used against you as they
love to do address them and make amends
with anyone that you need to and think
of this as a blessing in disguise and
it's clearing up any skeletons in your
life it's bringing you to credibility
and accountability and and an openness
and honesty and don't be perturbed by
any of it
you're coming clean you're being solid
mature were honest seeking to rectify or
be humble about anything that's required
and being an open honest person without
fear
and this is the important part you're
gonna do this in a really sane and
rational way and that would include if
these are just outrageous false
statements just be very clear and
precise and calm about it and include
everyone in the correspondence including
the narcissist and don't turn and attack
the narcissist just be clear and honest
about your life and please know that you
stay no contact or modified contact with
the narcissist any communication is
fully accountable and exposed then and
if the narcissus contacts you personally
ignore it or share it in the group and
ask for this person the narcissist to
correspond out in this open way only so
that there are no miss communications
with everyone who is concerned this
throws narcissus badly because they
expect that you're going to go into
horror and shame and fear an introverted
retreat anxiety and depression or that
you're going to react in ways with them
that they can use against you and this I
want you to know when you fight vampires
don't stay in the shadows with them drag
them out into the open under a big light
of honesty community communication and
exposure and narcissus shudders and
recoils even at the thought of that and
when you do this you don't need to
attack or bring the narcissus undone
because they're going to be very capable
of doing that to themselves because the
games have to stop they have to back up
their allegations with some solid facts
they are well aware with eyes on
proceedings and you having no fear of it
at all being right out in the open that
they have to
be very careful about their moves if the
narcissus starts contacting people
separately trying to manipulate and
coerce people will start suspecting that
she or he or she has something to hide
they become the one who was suspect
because it's like why isn't this being
openly shared and discussed plus the
added bonuses narcissus Arendt's
instinctively nasty and they need to
offload pain and punish and get a
reaction very quickly and if they don't
and if it gets too hard they will drop
the whole thing they're terrified about
being exposed for who they are just as
vampires are terrified about being in
bright light they won't risk that Plus
narcissus are fractured beings when
they're not in control of a situation
they start to show up as fractured the
more and more powerful authentic and
open without fear you become the more
they fall apart so I can almost hear
your brain ticking away with all sorts
of stuff about this and that might
include triggered feelings inside and of
course these sorts of feelings how can I
do that how can I be that strong open
and fearless you might be thinking I can
barely get myself out of bed every
morning to make the kids lunches and get
them to school and usually after that
all I want to do is go back home to bed
how on earth can I come out and be that
powerful and sure of myself I get it I
know the old me used to have more chance
of flying to the moon then trying not to
hide under a rock things were that bad
with the PTSD and the
her phobia so here's the rub here's the
total deal you have to heal what is
inside of you that is not allowing you
to show up this powerfully and I'm going
to share with you my key traumas which I
know are so many else's to work for
Rochas Leon as well as lovingly of
course so that you can go stand out in
the open under that big beam of light
fearlessly leaving the narcissus behind
in the shadows cringing okay this was
them these were my traumas being
incensed the intense anger regarding
injustice dirty tactics and unconscious
behavior and the total heartbreak and
despair that this person could do these
things to me all of that stuff needs to
be located in your body and shifted out
it needs to be released and replaced
with your higher-self source you know
which is what quanta freedom healing
achieves so that it can be gone and
replaced by a solid feeling of calm
where all of that trauma once was so I
would suggest module four work in the
narcissistic abuse recovery program for
this then next is addressing in our body
the need to prove anything to the
narcissist at all in fact stuff that we
do to try to get their love their
approval their support it's all about
requiring something from them and that's
all very serious and dedicated module to
work in up to truly break free from that
connection then he or she can throw
anything they wanted you to guilt you
who you will hook you and it's going to
feel like nothing in your body it
becomes benign and totally easy to
ignore okay so next the terror of
persecution and annihilation and of
course it's
this is module eight work in the NARC
program and it's hugely important so
that you just don't fear anymore what
could happen next
from the narcissist and again instead of
that previous trauma you're going to
feel inner peaceful calm where that
terror was once Channing and I would
also work on the beliefs that life
source God whatever your version of a
higher power is and it might even be
your higher self that's your belief
unconditionally adores you and has your
back even when you have no idea how
things are going to unfold this is
module seven and ten work of the NARC
program and I would also set up the
goal-setting module with the goal of
everything is imperfect and divine order
no matter how it seems everything is
working for my higher good and joy I am
loved I am safe so you may want to pull
this video go back get all of that and
write that down because it's a really
powerful goal to shift into I promise
you that these shifts concerning my
relationship with source and life were
very deep fractures for me to heal and
they were some of the most important in
a work that I was ever to do the next
ones of vital importance are to address
the inherent shame that we have in our
bodies that make a shrink defend and
feel terrorized about what people may
think of us the ones that hold us in the
shadows where narcissists can hunt haunt
and hurt us so important to understand
this it's all about clearing the beliefs
that I am wrong I am bad that stuff the
beliefs that would you do with the
trauma of our childhood
and we also got that passed on to us
epigenetically from our ancestors okay
so those are the main ones of course
there are others and the simplest
formula is always is when we feel any
fear in our body at all even if we don't
know what it is
to go to the shortened version of module
number one load it up and release it
even if you can't name it if you can
hold it and feel it in your body and go
through the visualizations you're going
to shift it and then bring in source to
replace it because one by one by one all
of those fears will melt away and when
you shift out of the fear and the pain
you bring that space into yourselves and
the space is source its calm its wisdom
its knowing it's the certainty of the
truth of our true self that it is all
unfolding and working out perfectly and
we are safe and then once you feel that
on the inside then seek to move in your
outer light into that big light that big
exposed light because that's the place
when narcissus can't exist and play and
if they try to they seriously unravel
and become exposed this place is called
exposure truth openness honesty
disclosure get yourself in there but
don't try to fake it you've got to be
real on the inside because if it's not
real on the inside so within so without
those fears are going to come and hit
you it's got to be done fearlessly so
what that means the perfect formula for
that is sort emotion first in your body
then move into that space and then
monitor any fear that comes up from
within keep
shifting it out so that you can stay in
that place feel asleep so I hope you've
enjoyed this video
and if you'd like to learn more about
how to heal for real from toxic
relationships and narcissistic abuse you
can sign up to my free 16 day recovery
course which includes an invitation to a
healing workshop with me to amazing
ebooks that are going to explain so much
and so much more so to access these just
click the link on the top right of this
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come over to the blog I'm really looking
forward to the conversation about
today's topic so until next time keep
healing and keep smiling keep thriving
because there is nothing else to do lots
of love bye bye
[Music]