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imagine it's your girlfriend's birthday

you just pulled up and surprised her

with a trip to her favorite restaurant

you finally get there and get seated

everything is going great and it feels

like this is going to go down as one of

the best birthdays ever then this guy

appears out of nowhere his clothes and

everything about him seem to highlight

your every weakness you're

self-conscious about your body because

you're skinny and weak the other guy is

built like a tank your clothes look

ridiculous because nobody ever taught

you how to buy clothes that fit the

other guys clothes fit perfectly and

they're like a spotlight highlighting

his alpha male presence it's almost as

if this guy was designed in a secret lab

to be the polar opposite of your every

weakness you try not to show any signs

of weakness but deep down you're praying

that he doesn't sit right across from

you and your girlfriend the guy passes

by you but then doubles back and sits

directly across from you was this guy

sit by someone who hates you to make you

look terrible maybe he was sent to ruin

what should have been a perfect night

the guy looks over at you almost as if

he can read your mind

and within seconds your hands begin to

shake and you start having trouble

putting sentences together you feel as

if you're under a spotlight and the guy

is watching your every move just waiting

for you to mess something up so you can

swoop in and take your girl before the

date is over the guy strikes up some

casual conversation with your girl this

makes you feel terrible inside because

he is the polar opposite of your every

weakness he's like the perfect alpha

male he's self-confident charming strong

assertive your girlfriend is one of

those girls who's really nice and she

replies to the guys casual jokes you

feel something begin to stir inside of

you what you just experienced is

jealousy jealousy is feelings of anger

fear and insecurity and since you feel

all of these things at the same time

it's absolutely not a fun experience

some people feel jealous when a guy is

flirting with their girl or if you're a

girl when another girl is flirting with

your boyfriend others feel jealous when

someone else achieves something that

they've always wanted to achieve but

gave up on imagine how jealous you would

be if your best friend just got a new

nissan GTR which is

the car you've wanted for the last

decade we've all experienced jealousy

when we saw so when we take succeeding

in life they say success is the greatest

revenge and it's true with the creation

of Facebook and social media these days

everything is instant if someone you

hate just got a new house and you're

still living in your mom's basement

you're going to know about it instantly

if your childhood friend just bought

this Lamborghini here and you barely

have enough money to buy food guess what

you're going to know about it right away

we even experience jealousy when someone

gets something that we don't think they

deserve right now you can probably think

of at least a few people that you know

that received something they didn't

deserve those feelings you had were

jealous me the crazy thing is that most

people get it wrong when they try to

figure out why they were jealous in the

restaurant you think you were jealous

because some attractive guy was cracking

jokes with your girl and because of the

way she was smiling at him the truth is

that like many similar emotions jealousy

comes from within the problem is with

you and not the other person but don't

worry because overcoming jealousy is

easy in every situation where you feel

jealous it's coming from one or several

root causes the main cause of jealousy

is a lack of self-confidence when the

other guy was cracking jokes with your

girlfriend you were doubting your own

skills and abilities if you were

confident and knew how much you were

really worth you wouldn't have felt

jealous jealousy might also be caused by

fear or poor self-image for example if

you think you're ugly even if you're not

then this can make you jealous the fear

of losing your girlfriend to another guy

or being rejected can also cause you to

feel jealous maybe you've had problems

with the next girlfriend and as a result

you feel insecure about your

relationship with a new girl in this

situation insecurities would be the

cause of jealousy I want you to know

that jealousy like anything else is just

a message from your brain contrary to

what most people think feeling jealous

doesn't mean you have some sort of

disease the feelings of jealousy are

just your brain sending you messages and

saying hey buddy you need to change


the intensity of the jealousy that you

experience can vary according to how you

feel inside if you lack confidence and

don't know what you're worth you might

get jealous of anything and everything

even things that aren't a threat to your

relationship or quality of life most

people experience jealousy but they

don't really understand the psychology

behind it when you look at the

psychology you can see that jealousy is

like a competition in other words you're

putting yourself and direct competition

with the person you're jealous of and to

you it looks like they're going to win

in your mind the alpha male in the

restaurant is going to win the

competition and take your girl your best

friend who got the fast car is one step

closer to having all the materialistic

things you've always wanted before you

could get them your best friend who just

got married to the perfect guy while

you're still on boyfriend number six is

going to have a better life than you all

of these examples are like little

competitions and when you feel jealous

you feel like you're losing the

competition and have nothing to offer in

the animal kingdom if another male

gorilla tries to swoop up on one of the

girls from the pack the alpha male of

the group just beats him into submission

until he runs away problem solved for

humans it doesn't quite work like that

so with that said how do you overcome

jealousy how do you stop feeling jealous

when an attractive guy starts talking to

your girl with a simple psychological

trick you can instantly stop being

jealous this is something that I used to

do back when I used to get jealous the

trick is simple and all that you have to

do is tell yourself that you're not in

direct competition with whoever is

making you jealous let me ask you a

question if jealousy is caused by

feeling insecure and unsure of your

abilities during a competition with

someone else then how can you feel

jealous if you're not competing with

them by telling yourself that you're not

competing with them you are removing the

huge spotlight that shines down on all

of your weaknesses the long-term

rock-solid fix for overcoming jealousy

is developing skills gaining knowledge

and developing your confidence once

you're sure of yourself you'll be glad

to take on and crush the competition but

in the meantime

while you're building confidence just

tell yourself that you're not in direct

competition with the other person at the

end of the day there is nothing wrong

with jealousy it's how you react to it

that gives it the power to ruin your

relationship or make you feel bad when

someone else is succeeding and you're

not jealousy is nothing more than

messages from your brain telling you

that you need to improve certain areas

where you're feeling insecure or

unconfident if you feel jealous when

some guy is trying to charm your girl

improve your ability to charm people

until you feel confident enough to

handle any situation the same goes for

anything else that your brain is saying

you need to work on in the meantime tell

yourself that you're not directly

competing with the other person but

you'll be back building confidence and

improving your weaknesses can happen so

much faster than you think and it

doesn't have to take years with enough

effort and courage you can improve any

weakness especially social skills within

just a few months and the temporary pain

is a small price to pay to never feel

jealous again with that said until next

time thanks for watching