How To Avoid Arguments

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I have a challenge for you if you choose

to accept this simple challenge you will

become happier more peaceful mindful and

influential there's a famous saying that

says arguments about Scripture achieved

nothing but of stomach and a headache

and I think I can improve on this

statement by simply crossing a lot of it

out arguments achieve nothing

full-stop there's my quote right that's

it I think it's a pretty accurate quote

and in this video I want to prove to you

why I think that's the case and the

challenge for you will to be never to

argue again there are two reasons humans

are on top of this food chain and if

you're like some vegan that's like no no

I only eat kale that's okay I'm not

talking about what you eat I'm talking

about we are the only species that is

able to eat anything we want we have no

natural predator we are on top of the

food chain so listen up because the

human advantage isn't complicated to a

genius such as yourself this advantage

is easily broken down into two simple

parts and alone they both give a sizable

advantage but combined they allow us to

rule the world

our first advantage is we can

communicate in large numbers but before

you get cocky about it so can ants bees

schools of fish and many other species

communicate in large numbers by default

the thing is other animals usually do

this on simple cause and effect that is

to say their communication only works in

a singular set way so think about it

flexibly because you can bees can't they

don't have a Democratic Society

they never establish a union they can't

collude to commit treason they can

communicate in lunch numbers but they

are unable to communicate flexibly

because their entire society runs in a

single set way for a bee

nothing is up for debate welcome to the

second part of our secret to thriving we

communicate flexibly but before you

think you're great so can elephants

again this isn't special any animal with

that well-developed prefrontal cortex

can do this monkeys dolphins elephants

wolves they all have self-awareness and

they can all come

cade flexibly the difference with these

other animals and us is they cannot do

this in large numbers they need to have

a previous relationship with another

member of their species before they can

communicate in an effective way they

need to trust each other

humans also need to trust each other but

we automate trust and that is what gives

us such a huge advantage for example you

don't know the guy flying the plane but

you still trust this total stranger to

fly you through the sky while you're

strapped into a chair that is bolted to

the floor of a tube you don't think

about how the plane works and you don't

really care you trust this person so why

do you trust these people well you don't

you don't trust them personally you

trust they are qualified because our

species has complicated systems in place

to ensure that they are you have faith

in our systems you trust the systems so

I think it's fair to say that humans

have come a pretty long way in the last

hundred thousand years to the point

where we are now sending people into

space and we have this whole internet

system set up so that I can yell my

grumblings at you but just because we

can communicate so easily through social

media he's only half the battle won the

quality of the information is what

really matters so when I say arguments

achieve nothing I'm not talking about

discussions debates or disagreements

these are all fine and effective ways

for us to develop our communication so

that we can communicate flexibly in

large numbers and continue to grow it's

only when you sprinkle emotion on these

things that you have an argument

arguments achieve nothing if you think

arguments to achieve something put a

comment below and let me know what you

think they achieved because I'd like to

hear it the funny thing about arguments

is you only get emotional about

something if you think what the other

person is saying is true for example you

can try this yourself go up to the next

skinny girl you see and call her fat

she'll probably laugh right it's not

gonna really affect her personally but

if you go up to a girl that might think

she's overweight and you

her fat now that's gonna be a different

result she's going to be personally

offended because she sees truth in what

you were saying the silly thing about

arguments is it is only when you think

the insult is true that you are

emotional about it so if you don't think

it is true then why would you be

emotional or if you don't respect the

person talking then why would you care

what they think or if you do respect the

person talking and you believe what they

are saying is true then just take the

advice emotion is still not useful to

you it is only when you involve ego that

you're going to get offensive and maybe

even attack back arguments achieve

nothing let me give you an example of

how easily people invoke emotion in any

given situation when it is completely

unnecessary and I'm going to show you

this in the form of an email that I sent

to my email list and one of the response

in particular that I got about that

which I think was purely somebody being

triggered emotionally I didn't even

mention Donald Trump but somehow it's

gone to that area and I'm getting

hundreds of emails from Americans just

crazy about this before I give you my

opinion let's just I'm gonna show you

what I sent so here's the email it's

called how to avoid arguments I

basically wrote the biggest threat to

all your relationships is an argument

something most folks don't know is you

can easily avoid them disagreements are

fine and normal because it would be

weird if you never disagree but

arguments are unnecessary arguments only

appear when you were both emotionally

attached to the topic you were

discussing if you carry this feeling

through time

aka hold a grudge that's called trauma

and it seems pretty sad to give yourself

trauma over a damn conversation I mean

you should be able to discuss money

health religion or politics peacefully

with any other human you want but you

can and the reason you can't is because

most humans have emotional attachments

to these topics so if you want to have

better relationships with almost every

other human you meet don't be that dude

be the person that can talk about

anything openly honestly and

unemotionally because you know damn well

it is okay to disagree if you can

consistently leave emotion out of it you

will leave the other person little

choice but to abandon their emotion and

doing so

the same thing let the little guys argue

so that's the email that I wrote right

it's not really a big dramatic deal and

you know I got some replies saying yeah

this is cool I got some reply saying

whatever dude you know like a normal

email that I sent if you're not on my

email list by the way you should be


the reply that I can one reply I got was

crazy now I realized that you know nah

nah I'm not gonna give an opinion yet

let's just do it here's the reply from a

girl called Cynthia sorry but this is a

gross oversimplification of conflict at

a time where we must stand up to gross

injustice please don't tell me I need to

keep emotion out of it when as just one

small example we have neighbors here in

the US proudly supporting an ignorant

fascist who among other things locks

little kids up in cages at the border

when I overhear these people talking


which for those don't know sense for

make America great again I will confront

them every single time this detached

stance you're promoting is total BS

Cynthia sent from my iphone invented by

the son of a Syrian immigrant how that's

relevant I will never know

now I've dealt with rough topics before

I've got no problem speaking about

religion politics or money it doesn't

bother me everyone knows my religious

stance I put up a video on religion in

which my stance is I don't know right

that's my official stance on religion

and people got crazy about that right

now the same with Donald Trump and

America I didn't even talk about

American politics but here I am amongst

it now and I'm gonna show you why in a

second but the interesting thing about

it is I dip my toe in American politics

I just dip my toe in the water and the

whole pool boiled it's such a heated

topic over there so and politics has

always heated I guess but Trump is just

stirring the pot man he's Trump is just

the word of death is he's just a thing

to talk about isn't he anyway as you can

see I haven't mentioned politics yet so

I wrote an official statement on what

Cynthia wrote to me and here's what I


Cynthia missed my point emotions are

normal disagreements are useful it's

mixing the two is called a noogie

and arguments never solve anything I

agree that it can be difficult but I

stand by what I say if you have

neighbors supporting something you don't

agree with confront sure it's cool you

stand up to gross injustice my point is

the more emotional you are while

confronting these people or any other

human the less influential you'll be

that's just how reality is if you want

actual results it is the person that

stays calm and assertive that always has

the advantage isn't it interesting that

American politics stir up such emotion I

think it's crazy but one lady sent me a

really interesting question not in

response to that email she actually sent

me an email from my members area in my

website so she's a customer of mine and

I think it's a really good question

I read your response about emotional

arguments being ineffective and calm

discussions more effective and

functional do you have any thoughts on

why that is true why are most folks sort

of offended when someone has an

emotional response I think most people

aren't really offended when other people

are emotional when they're arguing but I

think it's just a really bad way to get

your point across and people are not

influenced by it if I want to tell you

something or give you a message and I'm

yelling and screaming about it you're

gonna be more focused on how emotional I

am rather than on the content on what

I'm saying now the reason being calm and

assertive is more influential makes

total sense if you think about it so if

you look at dogs

if you ever yell at your dog you're

going to get less respect because dogs

hunt in packs dogs are pack animals

right they're very social and they want

to follow the leader and they want their

leader to be the one that knows this

reality better than everyone else right

so who's the dog that knows the reality

the most what's the guy that's not so

surprised by everything because he's

probably seen it before it's the guy

that's not super emotional about

anything because he's learned to control

his emotions so that he can think

clearly in the moment and make the

correct decision it's the dog that is

calm and assertive

calm and assertive the words that I got

from a dude called Caesar which y'all

probably know he's the dog whisperer

right the dog whisperer and he does this

show in America has done phrases I don't

know if he's still going on

but he gets it he really gets it and

what he does is he goes from house to

house helping people train their dogs

but he'll be the first to tell you that

he's not there to train the dogs he's

there to train the humans how to become

an assertive the reason he does this is

because that's what works dogs listen to

other animals that are common assertive

so if you want to be and a lot of dogs

think that they had the boss of the pack

especially little chihuahuas and pugs

and little annoying dogs that like that

someone knocks on the door and the dog

runs to it and just doesn't care what

this family wants they're like who are

you and why you in my house right that's

the dogs attitude because the dog thinks

it is the boss the leader of the pack

and sees all train the human to become

an assertive so that they can become

leader of the pack and suddenly the dog

to listen to them humans are the same

with social animals it just makes sense

we're all born in this reality that

makes no sense to anybody nobody knows

what's going on it makes sense to become

an assertive and I learnt this from

door-to-door a long time ago I knocked

like 5060 thousand doors in Canberra in

Australia that's a lot of door-to-door

sales right and I learnt to become an

assertive because that's how you make

money you need to become you need people

to be able to listen to you and take the

message in and if you want to be more

influential you need to be less

emotional I actually have an entire

course about this if you are a

door-to-door sales guy you can go to my

website and just click on dawn adore

streetwise sales and it's an entire

course dedicated to showing you how to

increase your influence and also a whole

bunch of outside-the-box ways to make a

lot more sales if you're in door-to-door

sales probably a good course to get so

when Sewer asks me why a most folks sort

of offended when someone has an

emotional response I don't think they

are but they're not gonna listen to your

message they're not gonna be influenced

by what you're saying so if you want to

be more influential you need to be less

emotional thanks for watching this video

I'm standard over YouTube a little bit

more YouTube do monetizes everything I

ever do because YouTube thinks I'm

selling drugs or something

because I mentioned drugs maybe it's

karma because I used to sell drugs I

don't know but I actually help people

quit drugs YouTube

come on how about a manual review man so

all the traffic I get is from myself for

my own email list youtube gives me no

traffic gives me no money really not

much so you know I'd appreciate if you

do like the video I know this is a bit

of a ramble he won but we are back into

normal ones next time and I'll talk to

you guys later bye