You Can Lose Joint Custody Because of This One Common Mistake

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hi it's Wendy Hernandez with command the

courtroom in this week's video want to

talk with you about how you can increase

the chances that you won't get custody

taken away from you if you share joint

custody or joint decision-making with

the other parent so I always just in a

continuing legal education seminar and

there was a lot of topics and a lot of

panels that were presented and one of

the things that really struck me was a

presentation where the speaker was

talking about how a parent who shared

joint custody with the other parent had

gotten custody taken away from her

because she started making major

decisions about her child without

including the other parents in that

conversation and as I thought about it I

thought you know this is not the first

time I've heard about something like

this happening and it's come up in my

practice a lot and it actually it just

came up last week I had an interaction

with a woman who lived in Arizona and

she shares joint custody with a guy and

based on what she's saying he's not the

best dad he's not an involved parent

doesn't pay child support he doesn't

visit with their daughter at all so she

decided that she needed to move because

she had more support in another state so

without asking for permission from the

court without getting the approval of

the father she just left and she left

the state of Arizona and this is a big

problem I think it's a big deal and I

talked to her about it and I said I

understand he's not the best dad in your

eyes but there's a proper way to do this

especially when you share joint

decision-making with the other parents

and the proper way is to actually talk

to that person about what it is that

you're thinking is doing whatever it is

whether it's moving to another state

whether it's moving your child or

children to a different school whether

it's to put your children on medication

or your child on medication for a DD for

example whether it's to get your child

counseling for some issues that he or

she is having these are major decisions

and when you share joint decision-making

with the other parent you have to

include that pair

in the conversation if you don't you

risk really upsetting the judge and

upsetting a judge to the appointments

judge so if you know what it's clear

that you cannot co-parent with the other

parent and because of that I'm going to

get it the other parent sole custody or

sole decision making and this has

happened it happens I don't want it to

happen to you

so as much as the other parent may not

be involved as much as they may be a

jerk or create conflict you have to try

and I would recommend that you document

your attempts at conversations if you

can put them in an email put them in a

text message if you meet with the other

parents said then email recapping your

meeting but make the effort you have to

make the effort it's really important in

the eyes of the judge so if you share

joint decision-making talk to each other

parent if you have sole decision-making

over your child I think you should still

talk to the other parent even though you

may have the final say over what

ultimately happens on the major issue

but that's a whole nother topic for a

different day if you haven't already

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