How To Put On a Race Bib

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so you've signed up for a race


and part of signing up for a race

involves picking up a race packet now

it's not really a packet as much as it

is a bag but let's check out what's in

here a few ads for fitness stuff we're

not going to buy the race t-shirt cap

we'll never wear purple stuff I don't

even know but now we've come to the most

important thing in this Bay and that's

the race bib

now everybody needs to wear this in

order to get our proper official time

from the race now you're no longer a

person you're a number now and as we've

seen in prisons Powerball or the

Holocaust numbers are a proper but

highly inappropriate level of

organization but nevertheless that's

what needs to be done in order for us to

run this race so that's why today I'll

be showing you how to put on a race bib

when you pick up a race packet safety

pin should be provided to you by the

race organisers take four pins there's a

hole at each corner of the bib this is

where you'll attach a pin for each hole

where you place the bib is all about

your own comfort I like to place it over

the area of my non-existent ABS the most

important thing is to attach with all

four pins and not to place it in an area

where the bib could affect your movement

or flap a lot or an area where the

safety pins could pose a danger to you

such as the nipple crotch or buttocks

and now in the future anyone can go

ahead and Google our name and this

number and see our horrible finishing

time well at least we can now look

forward to vomiting all the pasta we ate

the night before and still have bagels

waiting for us at the finish line