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SEX WITH A FRIEND? (FWB)



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Ohai guys!

Notice anything different?

I got a camera! Finally!

I've actually had a lot of cameras.

I always just used my webcam because it's so fast.

I just like things fast.

But I figured:

"It's time, Laci, it's time!"

So, that's a thing.

Also, having sex with your friend!

That's another thing.

For all two of you that don't know what "friends with benefits" is

(I got your back!)

if you have a hookup over here and casual dating over here,

friends with benefits is right in the middle.

And it's not as if friends with benefits always means having sex with your friend,

it can just be making out or some other sort of sexual activity.

So this is a relationship style that basically emphasizes

on minimized emotional commitment.

People like it because they have a sexual outlet

but they don't have to put in the time to work on a committed relationship.

For that reason, haters gonna hate!

People cite the downfall of mankind

and the obliteration of the family structure...

"Won't somebody think of the children?!"

Because the people who take up this relationship style

don't really want children.

It really has its own set of challenges and issues

but it can be a positive way for someone to focus on their carrier,

to focus on school, while also having a sexual outlet.

Which is something that has been pivotal

in women makin' them dollars

and becoming financially independent.

Important! For gender equality.

I have had 3 friends-with-benefits-type relationships.

One was in high school.

We did the whole...

And it was fine, and we were both cool then that's the end of that story.

In college, it was with one of my best friends at the time.

One day, we were hiking, and suddenly, bam! We're kissing!

And I'm like: "When... How... did this happen?"

I kind of thought it was the start of a relationship.

But I was still OK with just being a little sexy together, y'know.

The outcome of that experience...

One of us ended up caring more than the other person

and one of us ended up with their heart broken.

It ruined our friendship.

And then the last I had was also in college

with this guy that I thought was really really hot

but also a freakin' asshole!

One of the situations where you're like:

"Can you just... not talk?"

So we got together a few times, it was fine, and that was that.

There are some key differences in these relationships that I had.

In the first one, I learned what making out felt like.

The second one, I cared about.

Feelings, they are the worst thing and the best thing

all at once!

Things got awkward and complicated,

and I ended up losing a friend.

It really sucked.

The third one, I was finishing my degree,

did not have time for one more person in my life...

We had a thing for a second that worked for us.

My point is that success with friends with benefits

depends on your circumstances.

There are times where it can work.

A time when you're busy,

when you're curious,

when you're attracted to them sexually but no more.

But sometimes there are circumstances where we think

friends with benefits is a good idea,

but it's really not.

When you really care about them,

and there's a lot to loose,

when you could end up wanting more,

when you think that becoming involved sexually

is gonna bring you closer together,

this will not end up pretty!

I repeat:

disaster on the horizon!

You know, it's really confusing to start this sort of relationship with somebody

and never actually talk about it.

Communicate!

It might also be worth asking:

"What happens if you fall for me?"

"Cause, let's be real..."

If you start having feels right here,

time to talk.

If this happens, ask if the person feels anything for you too

and if they don't...

The longer you stick around, the more it's gonna hurt.

3: safer sex!

Strap it up, lock it down,

unless you're looking for friends with the benefit of visiting the doctor together...

Be honest with yourself, be honest with each other.

Just like any successful relationship,

this takes self-awareness, it takes good communication.

Alright everyone, love you much!

Do not get hurt by your friends with benefits, or I'll kill them.

OK, I don't like violence, but... you got me, right.