How to Ask Forgiveness | Be Forgiven by Someone You Hurt

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hello good morning good afternoon good evening wherever you are in this world

we are here again for another coffee with C our topic for today is from our

friend Sania and here it is how to ask for forgiveness

I feel really bad of what I did to the person who is special to me but I don't

know how to ask forgiveness and if I do I'm scared that she does it forgive me

please tell me coffee would see how to make someone forgive you you can't you

have to realize that you cannot make someone to forgive you forgiveness has

nothing to do with you it comes from oneself just like I reference to my

previous video about how to forgive someone even if it hurts which is this

and you can watch it here forgiveness us nothing to do with the

person who hurt you which in your case it is you it comes from oneself now

we're going to talk about five steps that you can do to ask for forgiveness

and hope that this person or eventually forgive you number one ask to be

forgiven but don't expect anything in return

ask don't demand you'd probably say okay see what's the point why do I need to

ask my forgiveness but I know I can get it anyway I don't want to look dumb I

don't want to look like a loser ask for forgiveness and be consistent with it

I've seen this so many times when someone said sorry to a person and the

other person said I can't forgive you right now the response was well I'm not

sorry anyway I'm gonna be sorry when you're ready to forgive me the world

doesn't work like that you cannot negotiate you messed up my

friend I get it it hurts but it's part of it

even if you believe that you didn't do something wrong you need to understand

this first you need to be willing to truly ask for forgiveness without

expecting anything in return you need to have a radical mind shift right now to

move on to number two be ready to listen and do not ever be defensive it doesn't

matter who is right or wrong the point is the person was hurt by what you said

or done you need to let go of your ego to move forward in this process when you

ask for apology you need to be ready to be vulnerable you have to put yourself

out there and acknowledge the other person's feelings you have to have the

boss to listen to whatever the person has to say without getting hurt and

defensive people are not robots you can't tell them what to feel and when

they should change their feelings you know it's hard to forgive someone

especially when the other person opens up his or her feelings and you start

arguing and start being defensive because you do not want to hear about

the things that you did wrong it's their right to tell you what they feel and why

they are hurt even if it means stepping on your large ego deal with it large

person respect the person's time and give him or her space even if they

forgive you it doesn't mean that everything has been restored and

everything goes back to where it was before I mean I know I always tell you

guys if at first you don't succeed try and try again this doesn't apply in this

situation okay you have to give them space you need to back off you have to

give the person space and time to heal you just created a wound to him or her

and you cannot just remove it right away give him or her space where they can

here and go through the process of forgiveness back off a little bit don't

be constantly showing up and asking them hey when are you going to forgive me no

it doesn't work like that number four genuinely repent and how do

you do that you have to show him or her that you are not just apologizing

because you got caught or you just want to get over it a real apology is not

something that I'm sorry you are upset a true authentic apology where you express

your repentance it's this I'm sorry because my poor choice of action and

words caused harm to you I recognize that you are hurt as a result of what I

did or what I said you will help to foster the environment of forgiveness

and potentially soft in their hearts the genuinely repent doesn't end here you

also have to show him or her through your actions words are words but it

doesn't mean anything if it's not applied to actions number five pray for

them you cannot change someone's feelings and thoughts only you can

change yours but not someone else's and the only thing you can do once you have

done the previous steps pray for them to be able to find forgiveness in their

hearts regardless of what you have done seek for guidance wish them to be able

to open up again pray for them for them to be able to find peace in their hearts

to let you in again keep your requests your topics comment down below I create

videos every week for my coffee with C community and your topic may be next

until next time