ask

How To Convince Your Wife To Have a Threesome (How Do You Bring Up Poly?)



Sharing buttons:

placement here sir what's up guys

welcome back to vicarious TV what no I

just like its dread that's like great in

his face there you go

what's up guys welcome back to buy Ches

TV love and lifestyle today we're gonna

answer a question that I get asked a lot

and it's how do you convince your

girlfriend how did you convince her to

be Polly or how did you convince her to

have another girlfriend we get asked out

a lot of ways and it is a good question

so here we go

[Music]

so the short answer to that question is

you don't convince them you can't

convince them really if - you can't

convince your girl to be poly if it's

not her nature

the first important aspect of that is

she's bisexual then obviously it's gonna

be a lot easier to navigate those waters

because she's interesting other women if

she's not then it's not poly already so

it's already excluded you can't convince

her to be poly if she's not bisexual by

our definition of poly because we

believe that if it's it's not a mutual

thing then it's it's more of polygamy

it's more of a sister-wife kind of thing

so if that nature is there already it's

it's uh it's kind of couldn't happen

naturally it's it's not really any

different than like people sometimes

like a poly like it's so foreign but

it's like doesn't everybody love it

threesome right no I I thought so so if

you do it's just taken out a step

further but if they're not interested in

it you can't convince them it's no

different than if a gay guy were to try

to convince a straight guy to be with

them it's you can't turn somebody gay if

they're not they don't have it under

there already you can't dig out

something that doesn't exist so Priya

was bicurious when we met yeah so when

he first when he first brought it up to

me he came home one day and was like oh

we should have another girlfriend and at

first I was like haha we're gonna have

another girlfriend it was like no we're

not but that's when I felt comfortable

enough to open up to him and say then I

was curious about being with another

girl so um you know at first it was like

no we're not gonna have another

girlfriend and then the idea just grew

we spoke about it more and all the

it's that it would have and then that's

where we actively started looking for

someone

yeah I mean we didn't look for somebody

and we're in confliction about when that

conversation happened because I I'm

pretty sure this morning so I know when

I told them I believe that I we didn't

have I didn't make the joke about having

a girlfriend so after we already had our

first threesome experience know for sure

we did it not our first threesome

experience mixer that so we we did have

the first one yeah but we didn't talk

about it when we had the first one I

know we didn't talk about it it happened

in them I brought up the girlfriend

conversation I believe that we had we we

explored by curiosity a bit and then I

made a joke about having another

girlfriend after it was a joke I was

joking

but then I slept on it and then when I

thought about it like over in my sleep

I really thought like wait a second like

this really makes sense like there's

there's just so much validity to it like

three incomes in one household three

people working on something together and

it's like if we're already having

threesomes anyway it's like wise why not

take that a step further you know like

if a threesome is okay then why would it

be wrong to go further but we didn't

know what probably was I never heard of

Polly before like I heard of the show

Sister Wives before but I never watched

it so it was kind of stumbling onto this

realization myself and then realizing oh

it's a thing which made it a lot more

tangible but um it was only so freeze by

curiosity already was a segue into that

but she wouldn't have even thought like

we were seasoned for awhile before you

even open up about that the only reason

you even told me about that having not

really told anybody was because of the

environment of safety and acceptance

that we had yeah mind you in another

video we talked about how we met how

y'all start you know how y'all met how

me and Steven meant how our relationship

was but just a quick a quick summary is

from the very beginning Steven was very

open and honest about who he was and

what he wanted to do and then

and you know we were both we didn't

expect to date each other so he never

stopped seeing other girls and I was

okay with that because of how our

relationship grew and how honest he was

about who he really was about what he

wanted to do so in our relationship

there was always great communication a

lot of trust and we were both super

confident in ourselves yeah so basically

what she's saying is that the clear

answer for how you convince is you don't

convince but you have to always from day

one it's just that's how I've always had

all my relationships and my friendships

all all interpersonal relationships it's

there's integrity and just clear

communication I'm not gonna mislead you

I wouldn't want that done to me and I

always I even offer things that aren't

asked because it's like if I believe you

would want to know that or it's

pertinent to our relationship I'm gonna

tell you because it's it's better to

have it come out now and just be clear

about it and just get your honest you

know you make a choice on you have to

put on the table so you can make a

decision otherwise if it comes out later

it's it's just a waste of everybody's

time and it was always gonna end badly

anyway so break up and there's cheating

and all this stuff because they're not

honest from the very beginning just

randomly say you want to see another

person and expect your partner to be

completely okay with it that's you're

gonna have a tough time we've seen

stories of people that uh you know we're

married or dating for a long time and

then they brought somebody else into I

don't know maybe the intention was to

spice up their relationship or whatever

to try something new I think that it's a

lot harder to do it that way I think if

you want to if you believe you are poly

or you realize you are or want to

explore that world a little bit anybody

that you meet it's like from day one

they should already know you have a

girlfriend they should already know your

intention and then don't try to convince

them if you if they're not with it

they're not with it you have to respect

everybody's boundaries so if if you're

open up front the right people

we'll be able to pass that barrier and

they don't then it's never gonna end

well

to begin with so because we because I'm

always honest about stuff pre felt like

okay cool I could I could be open about

you know I was always curious about

girls or whatever because there's

there's no judgment there's no there's

no there's no negative no negativity

anyway that you cut it it's like we take

it serious it's valid and you suspect it

and explore it that's how you should

kind of do it with anything in a

relationship but with this especially

it's important how do you convince him

there was no convincing and it's not

something that happened at least with us

it's not something that happened from

day to night you know we we talked about

it we we spoke about what we were

comfortable with what we were both

looking and people what you know then

it's like even as far as teeth you know

like yeah it's kind of just like regular

dating like we would date and like you

know see other girls but it's you're not

gonna jump into a relationship like it

the same way you need to figure out what

you like and don't like and what you can

tolerate and what you need in a

relationship we now have our

relationship together that we need to go

and it's like a double double interview

process you know we both have to be

congruent like on what work cepting in

what we want in a person for it to work

so it's just that same same elimination

process I guess and then again another

step to overcome is once it's like okay

we're dating we really like this person

and then you know it's starting to

become very serious it's getting you

know past a weird face you know it's it

could be a little weird and then you

start to face judgments from people you

don't expect and then those are the

things that I think really define your

relationship or defined ours because we

went through a judgment through friends

and family and then having each other

and seeing how we all reacted together

is what really brought us closer through

that you know through that time

yeah it was a learning experience for

both of us so yeah it's kind of

something we were just figuring out

together so we we weren't alone in it

and that's you know people ask that

question to how's it for the person

coming into relationship that's another

video but for us and for for the guys

that are asking me that the short answer

is you cannot convince them your your

best your just best practice is live

your life with integrity not just in

your relationship not for the intention

of getting your girlfriend to be poly

it's just always have integrity always

make it a point to communicate clearly

and fully and don't ever create an

environment where they will they believe

they will feel judged it just has to be

fluid and from the beginning when you

meet somebody you have to frame it that

way you you can't go you can't lead a

girl out and say like oh yeah like I

want babies yeah I want to be with you

forever like the one-man kind of girl

it's like I'm not a one-man kind of girl

and you if you judge before that you

know your judgment is your opinion but

the thing is it's a beautiful thing

because at the end of the day there's

nothing unethical about about just it's

being an open book you're putting on a

platter and the other people involved

can make a decision based on all the

facts there's no deceit there's nothing

that's gonna come up later

you're never gonna hurt them or waste

their time and for me that's important

because I wouldn't want like even when

we were first talking about stuff I like

went out of my way to be like hey pre

like when I tell you this I just I want

you to know there's not this is not the

ulterior motive because maybe she

doesn't even see it that way but it's

like oh maybe I could be saying this to

be sweet and get her to think this but

there's no motive like we talked about

all the time like he never really asked

me officially to be his girlfriend it

just it just naturally grew into a

relationship but even when he told me

which is what we consider our

anniversary like the day he told me that

he really loves me even that day he's

like I really love you but I still want

you to know that I feel like this this

and this and this and it's like that's

when we established a more serious

relationship but right then and there

there was no

um like lies or or it's like he never

let me think that oh you know now I'm

gonna stop seeing other girls he let me

know that you know we were that he was

serious about me because at that point

you know we were yeah even from the very

beginning he was always a very honest

which is where I think a lot of the guys

know something yeah but on that point

too it's like you know I might be too

smart for my own good or over thing but

I'm like what if I'm subconsciously

telling her I love her indebted ah

because I want her to think oh well

maybe I'll stay with him anyway to

Canelo's me know convince me it's like I

even had a conversation with you it's

like pre I'm telling this because I

honestly feel I don't want you to get in

your head or convince yourself that now

because I love you

things are gonna change you have to

accept if you want to be with me that

this may never change it this may be how

forever who knows what could happen

later but I want you to really know the

real story and the real deal to make a

decision it's all for all guys just

leave your life with integrity period

and in its it's better for you you feel

better you never have to regret you

never have to deal with the weight of

hurting somebody or breaking somebody's

heart if people make a choice based on

facts that's the decision and just just

be clear about it because that's the

only way that it's ever gonna work it is

something that you have a curiosity upon

later which is what happened to to us

you know like it happened later on

the relationship it only worked because

you were always honest from the very

beginning and it only worked because we

were open enough to speak about these

things you know within our in our

relationship so yeah and that's that's

that's pretty much it

King canyons and be honest communicate

obviously you know have your fun these

days and I say no if you do feel that

way inside and you're thinking like oh

I've been dating this girl for five

years and now I'm feeling these ways and

these inclinations don't deny it for

myself because I will also tell

relationship apart down the road anyway

yeah have to be honest you don't the one

reason the one thing that I always tell

people is like I never wanted to change

Steven and who he really was so you know

just as we always say like be happy live

a judgment-free life let them you know

let people do and be be an honest person

to be honest you know you're talking

about someone that you care for someone

who loves you and and who you know wants

to spend time with you so be honest yeah

if you're watching this video and

because you didn't ask that question but

you just stumbled across it and your

significant other opens up to you about

this don't be mad don't be I mean if you

feel hurt or whatever you know don't

take a person it's like be thankful that

they're honest and have that

transparency and they're brave enough to

be open with you about that it could be

a little weird you know in it but you

guys are gonna like overcome that and

what comes after that and what comes

through being so honest is beautiful so

I hope that helps if you have more

questions on this topic feel free to ask

new questions other topics that's why I

made the love and lifestyle series but

all you people out there that are

realizing you're probably are exploring

it no good luck and we're here for you

if you want some answers

if someone judges you for it then maybe

they're not the right person yeah at the

end of day it's gonna work out if it's

meant to be and as long as you act

through love and integrity everything's

gonna go just how it's supposed to

[Music]