How to Ask a Christian Girl Out: 4 Simple Tips

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how should a Christian guy ask a girl


that's what we're gonna talk about in

this episode everybody I'm Marc from

apply guys were calm a place where we

apply the Bible to your life so this

question can seem really straightforward

just ask her right well within

Christianity and within the church

there's a lot of different views on a

dating courting and how you should go

about starting a relationship and

there's a lot of questions about this

process of actually asking a girl out so

I'm going to give you four tips on this

topic the first thing you're going to

want to do is define what you mean by

ask a girl out so it really depends on

if you're coming from a courting mindset

or a Christian dating mindset I'd have a

whole nother video that talks about the

differences and similarities the pros

and cons between the Christian dating

model and the Christian courting model

so I won't unpack all the differences

again within this video but the reason I

bring that up is because in one model

the courting model asking the girl out

means you're asking her to be in a

serious intentional dating or courting

relationship where you're specifically

figuring out if you want to get married

or not and in a Christian dating mindset

ask a girl out could mean a couple

different things it could mean ask her

out on a date like just one date and

you're not gonna be boyfriend and

girlfriend or it could mean that you

want to enter into a more serious

relationship where you're an official

couple so the first thing you want to do

is define what you think is best in this

situation which really brings up point

two you should let the pre-existing

relationship that you have with this

girl dictate the way you're going to ask

her out what I mean by that is if you

have a close friendship with this girl

already if you already have a pretty

solid pre-existing relationship and you

know each other well maybe you've been

friends even for a few years and all of

a sudden you're starting to get more

romantic feelings for her and you want

to get into a relationship with this

girl then I think you should leave

more towards the courting side and more

towards the ask her out to be in a

serious relationship type of way if you

don't know the girl that well you maybe

have a friendship but it's not like

really deep and you guys wouldn't

consider yourself like close friends or

anything or maybe you don't even really

know where you're just acquaintances I

would then lean more towards that ask

her out on a date side of things one of

the reasons I say that is because if you

already have a solid friendship with

this girl there's really more at stake

and you should be a little bit more

cautious in entering into a relationship

a dating relationship with this girl

because it's going to alter the

friendship and if you already know this

person really well you're not going to

need those beginning phases of a dating

scene where you're just like going on a

few dates without any kind of

relationship or a committed relationship

you're not going to need that as much

and so you don't want to just go through

those steps for no reason however if you

don't know the girl that well and you're

leaning on the courting side and you're

having this committed relationship this

conference that's very intense

define the relationship conversation and

you're talking about marriage and you

barely know the girl odds are you're

gonna scare her away so you don't want

to jam yourself into one model or the

other rather you want to look at the

pre-existing relationship that you

already have with this girl and then

base your approach upon that if you

already know her really well and you

have a solid relationship well you're

probably going to want to move a little

bit faster and get more serious and have

that heart-to-heart so to speak to kind

of define where you're at with your

feelings if you don't know that girl

that very well and you're just really

interested and you like to enter into a

dating relationship

well then maybe ask her out on a date

rather than to be a couple number three

is about what means of communication is

best to use when asking this girl out so

you can talk to her in person you can

talk to her on the phone you can text or

you could use social media now I don't

recommend all of those means of

communication but those are some of the

common options that are available

to you so in my opinion the best option

is to talk to her in person especially

if you're entering into a more serious

conversation and you're asking her out

to be your girlfriend that would

definitely err more

on the side of ask her in person because

that's gonna be the most respectful and

mature way to do it talking on the phone

is also a good option when it's not as

easy or possible to talk face-to-face

for example when I started dating my

wife and I asked her out she was living

in North Carolina and I was living in

Cleveland so I had a phone conversation

with her when I officially asked her out

now what about texting texting in my

opinion is not appropriate unless you're

leaning way more on the side of a casual

date I don't think it's a bad option if

you don't know the girl that well and

you want to present a low commitment

offer where you're intentionally trying

not to put too much pressure on this

conversation where you want it to be

kind of light and you're saying hey

would you like to go out on a date and

just spend some time together go to a

movie or go to dinner hang out with some

friends you know whatever it is that

you're planning a text isn't the worst

idea because it even if you don't want

to put a lot of pressure on her and

you're trying to make it seem like it's

a very casual invitation she might be

more likely to accept that then if you

have this serious you know intense

conversation with her the one that I

really don't see a good purpose for is

social media well I think it's sometimes

appropriate to try to not put pressure

and to try not to make it seem too

serious you also don't want to you know

do things so nonchalant that you come

off kind of flaky and that you come off

kind of immature and in my opinion

social media does do that

so in summary on this point you should

use the means of communication that you

think is going to be most effective but

in my opinion your best option in most

cases is just in person have a

conversation phone call it is you know a

decent if you want to have a serious

conversation or you just want to ask a

girl out in in general and a

light-hearted way texting definitely

don't do that if you want to get into a

serious relationship but you want to

keep it light not a bad idea

social media mmm my opinion kind of

comes off kind of spammy kind of weird

so I wouldn't go there

number four is should you talk to the

girl's father or mother or pastor or

mentor should you talk to other people

to ask permission so to speak or to you

know just introduce yourself should you

do that

and the reason that comes up is because

you know maybe a decade or two ago when

the courting model was really popular it

was pretty much a standard approach that

you had talked to the girl's father

before even asking her out until in my

opinion with a more modern Christian

dating mindset that most people have

right now that approach might actually

be even a disrespectful and might seem

to undermine the girls you know personal

responsibility for her own life so in my

opinion the best approach in most cases

is again kind of dependent on if you're

going for the the more serious mode or

the casual mode if you're entering into

a more serious conversation where you're

asking her out to be your girlfriend

then I would say ask her first but then

be intentional about introducing

yourself to her parents or mentor or

pastor if she has a good relationship

with those other people in that way and

you do this you're not asking permission

like in the courting model but it is a

sign of respect to introduce yourself to

the people that she really cares about

and to the people that are invested in

her life now if you're just gonna ask a

girl out on a date that's when I don't

think you need to really worry about

introducing yourself to her parents or

you know the spiritual mentors in her

life if you're going and the more casual

route that might become a little bit

awkward and a little bit forced and just

a little

too much too soon now a couple you know

exceptions to the general advice that I

gave you is where you you would ask her

out and then introduce yourself

afterwards as a sign of respect would be

first off what the girl views as

respectful if she comes from a very

conservative complementarian or courting

mindset then I think you should do

what's most respectful to her in her

eyes so when you're trying to show

respect to somebody it's not about what

you think is respectful it's about what

they think is respectful so if we're

going if I'm going to go to visit

someone in another culture the way I

show respect is not by bringing my

cultural norms into their household

rather I adopt what they think is

culturally respectful and I do that to

show them respect so realistically you

should do what the girl finds most

respectful she's coming from that

mindset then you should do that and you

should show her respect in that way

another example where it might be a good

idea to talk to the girl's parents

before you ask her out is it if you both

are younger and she's living under her

parents roof maybe you're even you know

late teens and and there's still a lot

of parental involvement in both of your

leisure in her life then you know

depending on the family unit and how

they view this type of thing again it

might be a better option to talk to the

parents first to see what their thoughts

are and if it's okay to ask her out but

again in most cases I think the most

respectful approach is to ask the girl

and then don't go to her parents or her

dad or her mom to ask permission because

you know she's an adult she should make

that choice for herself but rather as a

sign of respect to her and her family

making the effort to introduce yourself

and just basically to let them know who

you are you're not a creep you don't

have bad intentions you know that's how

you show respect in summary you want to

ask a girl out in the way that is going

to be best received in her view so you

have to know the girl a little bit you

can't just you know put every single

female into the same box and think that

they would all receive information in

the same way all of our own backgrounds

and personal experiences and beliefs

shape what we view as respectful so

whatever you think is the most honoring

way to ask the girl out that's what you

should do well if you enjoyed this video

I'm gonna link to some other videos in

the description below that will help you

keep learning about this topic of

Christian dating how you can start a

successful relationship and really how

you can honor the Lord in this area of

your life you might also be interested

in my newest book called the one it's

actually right over my back shoulder

there I'm selling it right now for $2.99

in the Kindle version if you don't have

a Kindle reader don't worry you can

download the free Kindle app on any

device smartphone and iPad anything like

that and you can read all Kindle books

for free once you purchase them or you

know if it's a free e-book on Kindle you

can read those there so if you want to

get that book you can download the app

right on your phone or right on your

iPad and you can read that entire thing

for $2.99

so if you're interested in this new book

called the one I'll leave some links in

the description below well thanks for

watching and God bless