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What To Do If You Think He's Cheating



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hey it's mark here founder of make him

yours and creator of fine Bob in five

steps today I'm discussing an issue that

could make or break your relationship

it's what to do if you think he's

cheating I'm going to show you exactly

how to handle this difficult situation

so you can get the answers you've been

searching for stick around this one's

important

[Music]

hello thanks for tuning in and today we

are discussing something really

important its what to do what should you

do if you think he's cheating so you

know maybe you've seen something

suspicious maybe a gut is telling you

something is off you know you want to

trust him but there's just a niggling

feeling that you can't get rid of what

what do you do in this situation how do

you get your answer without totally

screwing things up in the process

the step one first thing is don't freak

out now remember he may be innocent so

keep in mind there's a lot of reasons

and a lot of things that guys get

insecure about that could affect the way

he acts towards you so you know if he's

failing at work if he's stressed because

of money got even bedroom issues lots of

these things men can be really insecure

about and they will draw away often into

themselves with their own insecurities

to kind of cover for it and these are

all things that could potentially look

like cheating now you just don't know at

this stage so first things first take a

deep breath innocent till proven guilty

next thing is don't jump 20 accusations

and this is a mistake

a lot of people make that you want to

avoid unless you've actually caught him

then no jumping in and accusing him

no going through his phone none of it

the reason is if you're right and he is

guilty while jumping in early it really

just gives him a chance to lie about it

and cover his tracks

but worse if you're wrong and he's

innocent you could ruin the relationship

from your accusations alone step 3

is write a list of everything that

you've noticed so find some alone time

you know well away from him put down on

paper everything that has made you

suspicious so whether it's him being

home late his mood swings funny with

money him being distant anything at all

write it down get all those thoughts on

paper so that they're no longer swimming

around in your head now this list it

will build over time and it will allow

you to look at the situation a whole lot

more rationally and the next step step

four has become more vigilant so no

stressing out no accusations still

just watch become more vigilant watch

for anything odd at all from him I put a

link in the description to my video on

science he might be cheating so have a

look through that get some ideas on what

to look for write down everything you

see no right or wrong answers just

observe and right now when you're doing

this

also remember to write down positive

signs so you want this list to be

objective so for example let's say he

leaves his social media accounts logged

in

write that down that's good let's say he

leaves his phone around the house absent

mindedly don't go through his phone

don't go through his social media

accounts but write down these

absent-minded things because these are

great signs don't do anything just be

really vigilant and take a couple of

weeks to really build that list one way

or another in the event that the list

keeps getting more suspicious that's

when it's time to take a more serious

step and step 5 is to sit him down and

talk to him now there's three important

rules when you sit him down and talk to

him

number one approach this talk as you

would a relationship problem not a

cheating problem number two no pulling

out the list and number three phrase

everything as you so be vulnerable with

him remember if he is guilty it doesn't

matter what happens because the

relationships in jeopardy basically over

anyway so you want to work on the

assumption that he's innocent and save

the relationship in that case innocent

until proven guilty so for example you

might say yeah hey boyfriend look can we

talk there's been some stuff lately that

I'm struggling to make sense of and it's

really scaring me

I just want to connect I want us to

connect again the way we used to so he

can be vulnerable back and open up to

you and in the event that he's innocent

he's more likely to open up about those

things that are making him insecure if

he continues even after a few times to

be defensive or he ignores you and he

won't talk to you then it's time to go

on to step 6

now step 6 is choose the high road or

the low road two different ways to

approach this situation now the high

road is where you pull out the list so

this is going to shock him so again

you've got to be really vulnerable but

you've also got to be firm so you know

saying something like baby I'm really

scared for us

try to talk to you but it hasn't worked

so far I've written down some things

that have been really scaring me in this

relationship scaring me about us please

help me solve these problems with us so

bring in his help you know I don't think

we can continue if we can't communicate

about what's going on and what's

stressing us both at and if he still

continues to refuse to talk to you at

that point or becomes defensive and he

won't address the issues that you've

brought to him your only real options

are a relationship counselor or a

breakup if he's not communicating with

you in that way

that's that's not something you deserve

for yourself you've got it you've got to

be with someone who can communicate and

talk to you now the other option is what

I call the low road as the name suggests

it is the morally lower ground which is

why I don't like it but I understand

that it's sometimes necessary if there's

children or money involved or if you

just really just your heart you must

have an answer so the low road is where

you check up on him without his

knowledge

so rather than bringing up the list of

him you gather more information yourself

going through his phone email social

media good you could place a recording

device or even set up a cheating

opportunity personally I think if you

have so little trust in a relationship

or in a man that you get to the point

where you have to consider placing a

recording advice then that is not a

relationship worth saving if you can't

look a guy in the eye ask if he's

cheating and believe his answer then

really what sort of relationship do you

have so look I hope that helps you with

your relationship dilemma

the most important thing is no sudden

accusations and innocent until proven

guilty if you truly want to save the

relationship in the event of his

innocence and it's imperative you do

these things in the order specified

still acting with an underlying trust

and assumption of innocence in him if

you really want to save the relationship

in the event of his innocence that it's

really imperative that you do things in

the order that I described still acting

with an underlying trust thanks for

watching I really do hope it helped I

put the link to signs he might be

cheating the video in the description

below make sure you subscribed with the

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making me all calm today you booked it

in I'm happy to help you out where I can

I'll see you soon