How to Find Out If He Wants a Relationship (What to say!)

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Hey, this is Mat Boggs and in today’s video, let’s talk about how to find out if he wants

a relationship, and specifically what you can say. I know that this is a tough subject

for a lot of women that brings up a lot of nerves. Lot of women are scared about asking

this question. You know, “How do I ask this question? When do I ask this question?”

because they feel like if they do it wrong and they come across needy, that they might

potentially scare away a great thing or something that could turn into an amazing relationship.

So let’s dispel this myth right here, right now that you could scare off a guy who wants

a relationship by asking him if he wants a relationship. No, guys who want a relationship,

they welcome that question. They’re not intimidated by that question at all. It’s

the guys who don’t want a relationship that are scared by that question. Guys who don’t

want a relationship, that question makes them feel uncomfortable and nervous and it’s

like they receive that question like receiving a sack full of snakes. You know, it’s like

kryptonite to- oh! Oh my God! Ah! That is what it feels like to a guy who doesn’t

want a relationship. So when do you ask this question? I’m giving you permission to ask

this question early. You can even ask this question on the first date if you want as

long as you ask it in the right spirit, in the right way, because the last thing you

want is to waste time with a guy who will never commit. “Hello, baby. I love you so

much. It’s time you said on our 85th dating anniversary that we would get engaged. Are

you ready? No? You need some more time maybe to figure it out. You like what we have right

now? Okay. I do too. I’ll keep waiting.” The key to asking this question right is to

come from this state of worthiness, confident that no matter what he says, you are going

to attract the relationship that you desire and that you deserve. A lot of women don’t

want to come across as needy. Well, the secret to not coming across as needy is not being

needy. And I don’t say that in a trite way, I say that do that you check your beingness.

As you’re heading into this conversation, you’re going to ask this question. Just

check in with yourself, your state of beingness. Are you coming from this hoping and wishing

and like wanting him to give you the right answer or a certain answer, or worse yet,

cynical, like you don’t even believe it anymore like, “So what do you want? You’re

just like all the rest of them.” Neither of those states of being are attractive to

men. Or are you coming from the state of confidence because you have options? That you know you’re

not attached to his answer. You’re really coming from a sincere place of discovery.

You really want to know what this guy wants for his life because you know, no matter what

answer he gives you, you’re going to be okay. You’re going to do just fine because

you’ve got options and you will attract that relationship that you want.

So what do you say? How do you actually ask this question? Well, there’s lots of right

ways to do this. I’m going to just give you one good example here. First, give him

permission to be honest with you and share his vision for his life with you. So here’s

one way to do it. You could say – and it’s got to be lighthearted and fun and kind of

cheeky. You can say, “Hey, can I ask you a personal question?” and he’ll say, “Sure,

what’s up?” and you say, “Before I ask it, you have to promise me that you’re going

to be honest.” And he’ll say, “All right. Cool. Yeah, you got it. I’ll totally be

honest.” And you say, “If I gave you a magic wand and you could create anything you

wanted for your love life, what would it be? What would you love?”

Now, a guy that wants a relationship, he’s going to answer that very straightforward.

He’s going to say, “Well, I’m at a place in my life where I really want something meaningful.

I want a great relationship. I’m ready to settle down. I’m ready to create that.”

When you hear the answer from a guy who wants a relationship, it’s going to be clear.

There’s going to be no confusion or no static or no wondering, “What does he mean by that?”

It’s going to be straightforward and you’re going to get a clear picture for what it is

that he wants. Guys who don’t want a relationship, when you ask them that question, you’re

going to get one of two answers. Now you’ve given him permission to be honest so either

A, he’s going to be honest with you and say, “You know what? I really am not looking

for anything serious right now. I just kind of want to date. I’m really enjoying my

life.” And when he tells you that, believe him, okay? Believe him that that’s what

he really wants and that’s what he will create for his life. Or the guy who really

doesn’t want a relationship will give you a vague answer where you’re not really sure

what it means. He’ll say something like this: he’ll say, “You know, I’m really

loving my life right now. I’ve got a lot of great things going on. I’m just really

enjoying myself and I’m open to possibilities.” You know, he’ll say that and you’re like,

“What does that mean? I don’t even know.” So if your intuition sense static or vagueness

or confusion, trust your gut on that that this is a guy who isn’t clear that he wants

a relationship. See, his unclarity in his mind is translated into your unclarity about

what he really wants. So let your intuition and how he’s treating you guide you in this

relationship. Let that determine how much you invest in this relationship because you

want to pour energy into the guy who’s pouring energy back into you. You want to invest in

the relationship that’s actually moving in a direction of a shared common vision.

So I challenge you to have the courage to ask the relationship question upfront and

early in the dating process and then trust your intuition on his answer because when

you do, that will lead you to a man who is ready, willing, and wanting to create an extraordinary

relationship with you. So I hope this information serves you, and

if it did, please share this video with someone that you care about and expand the love in

their life. And post a comment below. And I would love to know this: if you have a different

way that you’ve asked this question that’s been effective for you, that’s worked for

you, post that below. I would love to know what’s working in your life. And as always,

there’s a great resource in this video. There’s a link in the description and in

this video to a resource that will help you understand the hearts and minds of men in

a greater way and help you attract the relationship that you want. And if you’re not subscribed

to this channel, make sure that you get subscribed so you can get the latest and greatest videos

that come out each and every week. Thanks so much for watching. I’ll see you soon.