What's up Greg? It's your boy Danny back with another really interesting episode of
How to Watch a YouTube Video.
In this video, I'm gonna be taking you through a step-by-step guide
at how to sit very still and look at a screen playing a YouTube video for its entire duration.
Speaking of things that everybody should know how to do,
have you guys ever been on wikiHow?
I think I've been on a few times to look up things like how to tie a tie,
or you know, how to change your spare tire or something like that.
It seems like this website has an article on pretty much everything you'd ever need to know.
They've got, you know, step-by-step instructions and illustrations so that you can really get the point.
But while they do have articles on everything you would ever need to know,
I've also recently discovered that they have articles on everything that you would never need to know.
Whether it's because you already know how to do these things
or because it's just something that nobody needs to know how to do anyway.
Over the past couple of days, I've been scouring wikiHow because I keep finding the most ridiculous articles, and it's like
who is reading these and who is writing these?
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To me, it seems like a lot of wikiHow articles are written by aliens or robots to try to teach other
aliens or robots how to act like humans so they can blend in.
Like this one "How to Smile"
I would say that's definitely one of the first things that anybody learns...Ever
I just wanna know who is reading this article
because I haven't met anybody
EVER, who didn't know how to smile
So who's googling this?
Like the only option is robots right?
This article has 3M views!
Where are they coming from?
The beginning of the article sort of makes sense
It's like very basic stuff
"Practice smiling regularly"
"Smile with your eyes"
So it's sorta tips on how to smile better
Like how to have a nice, pleasing smile
But then part 2 is where it gets weird
Part 2 "Smiling for the right reasons"
Step 1: "Make your smile genuine"
"While it's possible to crack a smile when you're in a bad mood"
Yea I guess it's possible... but
like would you ever?
Like you're, if you're in a bad mood, you should never accidentally smile right?
"While it is possible to crack a smile when you're in a bad mood, "
"smiling under these circumstances can sometimes make people wary of you"
"because they can tell the smile isn't authentic"
But, but, why would you ever?
"Offer a genuine smile to others whenever possible"
"Whenever possible" like don't strain yourself
Step 2: "Smile when you feel good"
"A genuine smile comes from being happy and positive"
"Be happy that things are going well for the person you're talking to"
"that someone's joke is funny, or that you're about to eat your favourite food"
These are just some examples of situations in which you would smile
that everyone on the planet knows, except for robots
Why have 3M people view this article??
And how many of those 3M people read this article and learned...
I have not learned a thing
because all of this is like basic human knowledge
that everybody knows
Every wikihow article has what's called a "Community Q&A Section" on the bottom
Where people can ask questions
and other people, who are more experienced in the topic can answer.
Some articles have no questions
and some have a lot
I guess it's based on how confusing the article was
or how hard it was to grasp the concept
So "How to Smile" definitely seems like one of the articles that should have no questions.
But it actually has hundreds
"How should I smile while talking to someone sitting beside me?"
I'm really confused by this one
because does this person think that you smile differently depending on what angle
the person is that you're smiling to?
Like if you're smiling to someone over there
like you only smile like
that, like that way?
to that person?
And if they're like moving as you smile at them
you sorta like
The answer sorta clears things up
They said: "It depends."
"If you're carrying a conversation, you can have a small smile on your face"
"It would be slightly awkward if"
"while having a conversation, you are looking at them with a full-out smile."
So that seems like pretty common knowledge, right?
Like if you're talking to somebody, you wouldn't just sit there like
but 52 people marked this answer as "helpful"
Like they didn't know that before
Like they were reading this and they were like
"A lot of people probably think I'm real weird"
"How did I not know this?"
"What should I do when I am angry and don't feel like smiling?"
"You don't have to smile if you want to."
"Work through your feelings of anger, and then smile when you're ready to."
Didn't you even read the "smiling for the right reason" section?
It specifically says in there smile when you're happy.
Definitely don't smile when you're angry
That's not gonna make people like you
that's gonna make people think that you're gonna hurt someone
They have articles like that for grown adults who are trying to learn how to smile for the first time
They also have great articles for kids
Like this one
I believe that this article "How to Freak People Out" falls into this category.
This one is some of the weirdest shit I've ever seen.
"Do you feel bored, hyper, and"
"mischievous all the time,"
"possibly simultaneously? Don't just sit there!"
"Use your energy to freak your friends out!"
Yeah, don't just sit there, dude. Get out there and freak the shit out of somebody!
What are you doing?
"It's the perfect cure for boredom! All you"
"need to get started is a creative mind,"
"a little bravery, and a hint of insanity."
I think maybe a little bit more than a hint of insanity.
"Use common sense with these tricks! Don't do"
"anything that will get you in trouble!"
It said all you need to get started is a creative mind.
I think if you're reading an article on how to freak people out, the creative mind ship has already sailed.
Like, if you can't think of a single way to freak somebody out without reading an entire article on wikiHow on how to do it,
I don't think that you have a creative mind. I think it's pretty safe to say.
"Method number one: Speaking Oddly."
"One sure-fire way to freak people out is casually"
"saying things in public that are"
"bizarre or troubling to the average person."
"You can experiment with peopling directly to people or"
"purposefully allowing them to overhear"
A-Again, I'm really confused about who this article is for.
This article has 300,000 views.
That means 300,000 people went out of their way to look at an article called "How to Freak People Out."
They really thought that they would learn something...
...from this article.
Well, that's great advice; if you want to freak people out just be loud.
Why didn't I think of that?
"Making loud, emotional outbursts"
"is a sure way to shock, frighten,"
"and otherwise freak out people around you."
Okay, yeah, annoying the shit out of people is definitely a good way to freak people out.
One of the weird things about this article is that it's sort of written like:
If you do these things, everybody is going to think that you're crazy.
You'll really get them and you'll really trick them into thinking that you're crazy.
When in reality, if you read this article on how to freak people out, and then you followed these instructions, you actually are crazy.
So they're right to think that.
Yeah, you definitely don't want to just walk up to cops and start screaming because they'll think you're crazy, which you are.
Dancing like there's no tomorrow
Look at these people watching!
There's a crowd of people watching.
Like this dude has been dancing for hours, long enough for this crowd to form.
Look at their facial expressions.
What do you mean when all else fails?
None of the stuff above will fail! It's guaranteed to freak people out!
I don't like the way this is worded, especially in conjunction with the picture they use for this one.
It sounds like it's like, your last resort like,
"Nothing has worked yet.
I can't freak people out, but I've got nothing to lose now.
I'm just gonna go out and be d i s t u r b i n g."
Okay, I don't know what the fuck is going on in this picture
But there is no way that whatever this is isn't going to get you arrested.
It's definitely not gonna end with like, you both laughing and going about the rest of your day.
This dude's got like fangs and blood dripping from his mouth
It looks like he just popped out of a bush so he could chase a woman in the park
Ooh, that's kind of a harmless prank.
Making a woman think she's about to get kidnapped or murdered.
Okay, here's another article for something that you should probably know how to do without reading an article.
This should probably be about the easiest thing in the world to do.
You just lay still with your eyes closed and breathe.
It's not even really learning how to do something, so much as just learning how to not do anything else,
because you're literally doing like as little as possible.
Here's the description for this article
Okay, just, just one thing.
This is like a really wide range of applications that go from a harmless, like:
"Oh, I don't want my mom to talk to me because I just, I just am a teenager and I don't wanna get, have any responsibilities today,"
to like, "I'm in this marriage, right, that's based on lies, you see.
and I have this kid that I don't give a shit about,
and I'd really like to catch some extra Z's while my wife goes and takes care of it."
Also pretending to be asleep only works as long as the person that you're pretending to isn't willing to try waking you up.
Which I feel like in that case, the case of the newborn,
the wife would be willing to wake up her husband and say,
"Hey, it's your turn to wake up the baby."
Otherwise, you're just gonna like, lay there and still pretend to be asleep while your wife is shaking you and saying,
"HEY, GET UP!"
Because that's not pretending to be asleep, that's pretending to be dead.
So this article covers all the basics: breathing slowly and deeply,
breathing at regular intervals, which shouldn't be a problem, or even a question?
Then it says,
How long are you pretending to be asleep for, dude?
You've got to raise that kid eventually.
You can't just sleep through its entire childhood.
"Yeah, I love my dad. Hey, how come you never talk about your dad, what's he like?"
"I never met my dad."
"Oh, he walked out on you guys when you were little or what?"
"No, that's the thing. He lives in our house, it's just he's been asleep for eighteen years.
We've tried waking him up. He won't."
Some of the comments on this are really good, too.
How is that even a question, like, you got caught.
You got caught not being asleep.
There's nothing to do from there, you just have to be awake now.
And why do I feel like the person who's typing this is like, in this situation right now?
He just woke up, and made eye contact with his friend.
And like, sneakily took out his phone and typed this question for an answer while he's like, locked eyes with his friend.
This article, I think actually has a decent amount of value for young people.
It's something that I feel like a lot of people would look up.
It's "How to Be a Popstar."
It's got great advice like,
"be wholesome," and,
and "have sex appeal," which is really a killer combination.
But it's actually pretty impressive how in-depth this article goes.
It goes from like having a strong voice and having an appealing look,
into, you know, like networking and applying for talent contests,
and keeping your social media presence up.
But then after all of those steps, it sort of like, assumes that those steps worked and that now you're a famous pop star,
and it tells you what to do once you become a famous pop star.
So it has this whole "living the lifestyle" section,
where it has things like "know who your real friends are," and "prepare to work long hours.
"Ignore the tabloids."
It's like, is this written by a real famous pop star?
Cause otherwise, how, like where are they getting this advice from if they haven't lived the experience of a famous pop star.
This article has some pretty good questions as well.
Dude, did you seriously read this entire article about like,
how much work it takes, and how you have to constantly be working and improving your voice and your sound,
you have to network, and you were just like,
Oh yeah, all that shit's easy, I don't have any questions about that, but,
once I become a pop star like, what if they want to date me?
I promise you that is not the hardest thing about becoming a pop star.
Did you not even read the article? It's a whole article about how to get started.
I mean, for starters, be wholesome and sexy. That should get you pretty far.
Honestly, I feel like I could make several videos about all these weird-ass wikiHow articles.
This is only like a fraction of the ones I found and I'm sure that there's a lot more strange ones out there.
But I'm gonna stop there for now.
If you guys would like another video about these, let me know.
But that brings me to some really great news.
I've always told you guys that Greg is a family. Greg is my fanbase here on YouTube.
We're the fastest growing army on YouTube, but I've always told you guys not to look that up.
But today I'm very excited to announce that you can look that up.
As long as you use thefastestgrowingarmyonyoutube.com.
thefastestgrowingarmyonyoutube.com is actually a website that was designed by one of us Gregs.
His name is Stefan Werth and he tweeted it at me, and he used Squarespace to make this website.
So thank you Stefan for making this website.
Now we can finally look up who is the fastest growing army on YouTube.
You can go right to this website and it will tell you.
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Well, I hope you enjoyed this video.
If you want to join Greg, all you have to do is subscribe and turn on my notifications.
Thank you, Tiffany Bee for turning on my notifications, you are truly Greg.
I'll see you guys next time with a really interesting video where I spook you so hard that you die.