How To Get Him To Call You His Girlfriend - Put A Label On Your Relationship

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how do you get a relationship label I

have this awesome question come in from

math who said what does it mean when a

guy claims that he is not seeing /

talking to other women essentially

telling you he's being exclusive yet

says he doesn't like labels / doesn't

want a relationship even when you are

not straight-up asking for a

relationship how do you get the label

how do you get a relationship label how

do you get the guy to call you his

girlfriend I'm answering math question

and giving you a five step formula to

get the label I'll see you in a second



how do you get a relationship label how

do you get him to call you his

girlfriend that's what we're talking

about today and the first thing you have

to do which is very important is watch

your assumptions you might remember a

few weeks ago we did a video on how to

stop getting played by men if you

haven't seen it with the link up here

and in the description now in that video

point number four something very

important that I talked about was never

assume exclusivity never assume a guy is

not seeing other women until he's

actually told you so now that's

important but what often happens is you

have this kind of weird conversation at

the start of a relationship and math has

had this conversation and a lot of women

who come to me asking the question about

labels have had the conversation as well

it's quite early on they're asking me

about labels because on the first second

or perhaps the third day they've had

this weird kind of conversation where he

says oh you know I'm not really seeing

anyone else right now and you say oh

great I'm not seeing anyone else either

now the problem with this conversation

is it's not a true exclusivity

commitment conversation the way a lot of

women think it is you see there's a

difference between him saying I'm

exclusive right now versus him saying

I'm committing to be exclusive with you

in the future she hears oh he's going to

be exclusive to me as long as we're

seeing each other he means I'm literally

exclusive to you

right now this is very important because

the question about labels often comes up

from women who have had this kind of

pseudo exclusiveness conversation and

assumed it meant that the guy was

committing to being exclusive as long as

he was seeing you now that's really the

case remember men often do not come in

fact in the vast majority of cases do

not come to dating looking for a

relationship it's something they sell

themselves on as time passes thus most

men and in fact most women you want to

have your standards in place and you

don't want to be committing to someone

you hardly know and let's face it

someone after one two or three dates is

still for the most part of stranger your

exclusiveness is valuable but men in


we'll be hesitant to commit to long-term

exclusivity after one or two dates but

they will comment I'm not seeing anyone


right now and that's why number two is

that you have to have had that

conversation you have to have had that

exclusive future commitment conversation

with a guy before you even think about

labels and that usually comes quite away

further down the dating process now if

you're not sure how to have that

conversation there's a video I'll put

the link up here in the description as

well on how to get a guy to commit where

jamia demonstrates that conversation you

must have that conversation you must

have it first before you worry about a

label number three is give it time again

remember men do not come to dating

looking for a relationship

it's very rare once you've had that

exclusive conversation and you've

committed to being emotionally

physically etc exclusive to each other

that's when you can start to go okay I

wonder when we're going to label this an

example from my own life we committed to

be exclusive and it wasn't until four

months later that I saw myself on the

idea of a relationship okay number four

ask yourself two very important and big

questions number one is do I trust him

do I trust this guy with his emotional

emotionally exclusive commitment and

number two is the relationship

progressing are the emotional connection

between the two of you or is the

emotional connection between the two of

you progressing in the right manner

those are the two most important

question to ask yourself and number five

is forget the label and focus on

emotional progression so come back every

two weeks come back every four weeks and

check-in are things progressing in the

right direction is your relationship

heading the right way if someone is

walking up a mountain you don't keep

asking them when are they gonna get to

the top you just accept that they're

walking there and you leave them alone

to get there now if that person stops

walking if the emotional progression

stops then that's when maybe you have a

cause for concern but the question then

is not how do I get a label the question

becomes why is my relationship or why is

our connection not progressing but as

long as things are progressing you can

forget the label entirely

if he's seeing your family more each

month if he's seeing your friends more

each month if he's spending more time

with you more each month if he's

projecting further into the future more

each month then obviously you're going

to end up with a label and it's gonna

happen completely naturally you won't

even have to worry about it there's no

way it would be it would be stupid for

him if he's spending five nights a week

with yous met your family met your


done all the right things that a guy

would do and he's been progressing

towards that it would be flat-out stupid

for him not to call you his girlfriend

and if it ever happened you could call

him on it but it would never happen so

forget the label and focus instead on

emotional progression the reality is a

lot of women who come to me wanting the

label it's more a security thing they

more want the security because they're

feeling insecure that he might leave the

label is not what's important it's

emotional progression in the connection

between the two of you that is most

important if that is happening the label

will take care of itself one more thing

before I go

a lot of women ask me questions on this

and they say well that's great mark but

what do I do in the meantime

what do I call the guy what if my

friends ask what's very simple you can

call him by his name hey mom this is

Mark a friend this is Mark Mark's coming

along now occasionally you'll get a

family member or a friend that's

particularly quizzical on you and they

say oh what are you guys what what are

you you can say honestly we're seeing

each other but we're not labeling

anything yet it's very simple it's

honest it's authentic and there's no

reason to question it now you might have

girlfriends who say oh girl you don't

respect yourself because you know put a

label on it

forget the label focus only on emotional

progression that's what's most important

well that's the video thank you so much

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video really soon