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Asking Out Your Neighborhood Barista



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what's the story with asking out your

neighborhood barista I have a crush on

pretty much every barista I mean I don't

know if because they're the provider of

my favorite drug or that they're

professionals at their craft and I love

watching professionals work I've never

been able to successfully ask how to

brief them because for some reason it

just feels really inappropriate any kind

of asked out on the job is inappropriate

maybe because there's a power imbalance

the whole customer client employee

relationship or the fact that they're

stuck behind a counter so they're a

captive audience you don't have a way

out of the conversation except like oh

sorry yeah buddy else before that they

are pretty much paid to be nice to you

when you're in customer service you

can't tell the person to off you have to

be nice maybe it's all those factors

that's made it that I've never really

asked out of barista because I've never

really been able to figure out how to do

it but I'm wondering is there a way and

the only way to really figure it out is

to ask baristas how to ask out baristas

so that's exactly what I did this is

what I found out

build rapport though just go into a

coffee shop and order a latte and ask

out the barista if you've never seen her

before you don't know anything about her

or him and you're just asking them out

because you find them attractive if

that's what you're thinking about doing

go do it instead build rapport over a

period of time and eventually it might

be appropriate for you to ask them out

but only in a certain scenario and

certainly not over the counter I would

probably never do it myself especially

if they were at work I work here so be

weird to see them afterwards if the

enter with no or every brief side talk

to pretty much said if you want to ask

them out do it outside of work don't do

it over the counter problem is how do

you run into that outside of work

without stalking them because shocking

is not okay but if for some reason you

do run into them outside of work it

might be appropriate for you to ask them

out if you build some rapport

the reality is that it's sort of a great

area to ask a debrief the briefs is

interested in you then you can probably

get away with asking them out with no

recent pushes you always do feel the

chemistry when you're serving someone

you're like oh man keep cheese or cubed

or I would like to but there's another

moment maybe but so if you choose to

you're the advice of not doing it over

the counter and a building rapport first

then you have two options that might

work for you one of them is the soft ask

the soft ask is inviting someone to an

event that you're already going to be at

with no expectations that they're going

to show up so you could say something

like hey I'm going to discuss table at

this park tomorrow afternoon if you're

free you should check it out it's going

to be fun a bunch of my friends are

going to beauty that's it there's no

phone number exchange there's no you

know I'll meet you at the statue at 4:00

for the most part they're not going to

show up and that's okay but next time

you go into your coffee which you're

going to do you bring it up and say oh

hey that's festival that I went to I

didn't see you there but if you didn't

go don't worry you didn't miss much and

that's it you just continue with the

coffee drinker barista experience

relationship and you don't make a big

deal out of the fact that they didn't go

oh would you like some event

like being a I

but it's like cellphones me yes I was

able to be like oh yes it's nice but I'm

sorry I won't be able to go but it was

well happened that was an example of the

soft ass though in this case the the

gentleman left his phone number and and

leaving a phone number

never work the odds that someone going

to call you after you leave their phone

number so low that it's not even worth

doing the guy just left his card with

his number on it I didn't know what to

do with that so I probably just threw it

out I just wanted I like took my RC

paper and I put my number on it and I

put it on the counter and he never

called me if you're going to disregard

that advice also and you're just dead

set on asking out a barista then you

might as well just go bold as if you

really feel like asking filling out you

should do it you should really do it get

it over it and if the answer's no well

you still go back to that copy place if

you're going to blow it up blow it up

big luck favors the bold

so do it with a full cafe seven people

behind you every coworker there

including the bosses ask them out

unapologetically bold and if they say no

then never go back to that cafe again

that's the worst that can happen if you

have a feeling that this person is like

your person then you just do it you do

it you risk looking like an you

risk making somebody feel uncomfortable

you risk having a whole bunch of people

laugh at you you just take the RIP and

when you get rejected which you probably

will you just never show your face in

that cafe again here's a caveat though

gay men seem to operate under their own

set of rules men generally are more

direct forward and aggressive and it's

two men together is like putting two gas

pedals in a car it's just going to go in

my experience gay men can kind of get

away with doing stuff that straight men

can't

I never been asked out that I did to my

current boyfriend it was

on the corner we both say to each other

for like a microchip and it was just

like oh my god can I do it and I give

you my number is it right to do that

finally when you left I tweeted cookie I

put it in a brown paper I put my number

on it and I wouldn't fear him and I was

like okay this is the free cookie for

you and maybe you can't explain if you

up by the way he called me back the day

after and now we didn't ice six on so a

gay man asked another gay man out might

be received well but your mileage may

vary and you still run the risk of

rejection or making somebody feel

awkward or kind of trapped behind the

bar because they know where they can go

when you ask somebody out at their place

of employment especially in customer

service they're paid to be nice to you

and sometimes that can look a lot like

flirting if you want to ask out your

neighborhood bleached up you probably

shouldn't but if you're going to do it

anyways it builds up or first try to run

to them outside of the cafe without

stocking them invite them casually to

assume you're already going to be at

without sliding them your phone number

like a little weasel or go out guns

blazing and just be just do it and know

that you will get rejected probably and

just right that can pay off for the rest

of your life that's it that's the video

leave a comment let me know if you've

ever asked how to brief done and what

happened also let me know if a Brisas

ever asked you out unlikely but it's

might possibly happen and it never

happened to me subscribe to the channel

thank you for watching thank you for

watching see you soon

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