Re-Approaching A Woman A SECOND Time And Destroying The Fear Of The Approach

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hi this is Michael marks aka the dating

wizard and as you can see there's

somebody new here in the picture

yeah a little prettier than me and her

name is Cynthia Cynthia is a woman who's

getting paid massive bucks to be here oh

yeah how many how many actually she

doesn't look drunk to me she doesn't

look really drunk you know so she's not


and so she's coherent and she's talking

and she's not drunk and she's not

getting paid and pink for this

she actually has an interest in some of

this watching talk to us a bit about who

you are all right well thank you for

that warm welcome all right let's see

who am i jackeline of many trades I am a

certified social worker so that's right

in a do-gooder I'm a life skills coach

an addictions counselor a community

worker I'm also an actress singer

voiceover host I think I'm pretty much

covered everything sounds like she cares

about humanity - it's always a nice

thing when I talk about getting a great

girl so just sounds like the kind of

quality person that would make sense to

be in a video like this so I try to be

congruent with everything that I do and

everything that I talk about and I think

she kind of seems to congruent to that

that's what I that's what I think

personally okay so let's get on with the

show I want to talk about something that

happened in a recent boot camp okay yes

so have you ever seen a girl you wanted

to talk to that's another video okay and

so you want to say something you're

about to go over and then at the last

second you feel guy is too weird and you

just decide not to so something like

that something very similar to that

happen in the last boot camp we were in

at Whole Foods and a really cool guy

who's my client at that moment he saw

this woman sitting down at the section

of the Whole Foods buy like Whole Foods

is a really healthy supermarket the

prices are really expensive by the way

but it's a really healthy supermarket

and there's a section where you could

have your sandwich or slice of pizza you

saw this woman sitting there by herself

very attractive girl and I said listen

but I've already done the conditioning

the training go up them you know just do

your thing and he starts to make the

walk overture and then he veers off okay

so he comes back and says you know now

she saw me saw her so it's weird now

it's probably not gonna work and I said

you know what sure it's better to go in

right away

because it sends off the message of

confidence plus you don't give yourself

time to get psyched out if you take

action right away I kind of get nervous

because you're taking action quickly you

don't have time to get nervous but the

bottom line is if you don't go back what

actually is gonna happen is you

reinforce in your mind that there's this

big big obstacle to talking to a woman

called perfection and so now that's not

perfect it can't go back and that's

actually a much bigger problem than

talking to the girl this girl this

second this time it leads to a bigger

problem of you feeling you don't have

the valley so I said you know what go

write that oh well

and I said actually worked it in say

listen I saw you before just the truth

but I said this time I'm going to

definitely and all these things by live

happened to me a million times like I am

the king it took me years to get the

stuff figured up anyway okay again this

stuff is having me I have that so I have

like nine ten times my own before I got

this stuff figured out I said you know

what did she go back I'll be even better

actually even better this time - oh for

sure notice that this is not the first

time time's a charm third time's a charm

there you go so so my point is that if

you don't go back you reinforce the fear

in yourself if you do go back regardless

of what happens you've improved you've

improved because a you're living your

own reality you're not so concerned

about what she's thinking you are

concerned with what you can do your

responsibility your power and ironically

the more you do that

the more confident you become and the

more you become like that character Sean

Connery and the rock remember this line

in the rock where he says welcome to the

rock anyway that doctor he wouldn't say

he saw the girl and let's say for

whatever reason let's say for some

reason he didn't talk through the first

time you'd say I'm going back to talk to

that sugar that's what I'm gonna do yeah

that's the rock too so so if you don't

go back you reinforce the feeling of

being powerless of feeling that talking

to women is some big magical thing if

you do go back you reinforce in your

mind that you do have the value because

the way your brain works is through

action psychologically your brain will

become congruent to what it is that you

do to walk to where he didn't walks away

now are you thinking now like I better

not talk to me I mean there's obviously

some reason that he's walking away and

if I'm not a confident person I would

probably start thinking that has

something to do with me wow what a

powerful response yeah well you just

said there made me realize something

which is that very often

human communication the other person

reads your body language subconsciously

but they don't necessarily interpret it

properly if they see that there's

something that you're not feeling good

about they don't necessarily think it's

because you thought they were so great

and therefore you were nervous

they actually interpreted possibly as

you became hostile towards them that's a

massive massive insight thank you right

right right so um so I thought it was

really important to realize women you

see woman doesn't matter if it doesn't

go perfect doesn't matter you made eye

contact and then talk to her just go

back and make sure you do take that

action because even if it blows up in

your face and if it goes okay what you

want to do even if even that were to

happen you yourself will feel better you

will grow in confidence and you learn to

realize it doesn't actually matter right

you don't have to worry the cops are not

gonna come because you want to say hello

she'll probably think it's funny if you

think it's funny because if you feel

something is funny a lot of humor

actually have to do with your perception

than the actual joke itself it shows

that you're having a good time with

yourself you're confident in your own

skin you're comfortable in your own skin

you're enjoying the moment you don't

take things too seriously

it's all about how you how you envision

it how you react is translated and that

action can get you no faster dies or it

can be you know accepted as it is right

so that you are confident and that you

enjoy the ride and then it's not going

to be a picture movie moment mm-hmm you

know that doesn't exist it's having fun

and with the mistakes the journey and

just recognizing don't take things so

seriously yeah that's huge - that's what

I was saying working into the moment if

you saw her you didn't take action work

that truth that reality that congruence

to the moment say listen this is the

second time I'm coming back this better

go football that'll be funny and

Shailaja felt interpret whatever it was

that wasn't perfect in your expression

at least in the right first the right

lights are gonna see the reason why so

that's it for this time I want to say

thank you to Cynthia yes and thank you


this is Michael marks aka the game

wizard I'll see you again soon