How to Confront Your Cheating Spouse (Without Looking Crazy! )

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all right if you're watching this video

right now then I'm really sorry being

cheated on is one of the most difficult

things that anyone can go through you

know you feel betrayed angry sad maybe

even worthless and depressed but as bad

as things feel right now just know that

this isn't your fault there's almost no

good reasons to cheat in a marriage but

now you're obviously lost and confused

and you don't know how to approach the

situation well hopefully in this video I

can give you some tips to help you

navigate through this very difficult

spot everyone my name is Brad browning I

am YouTube's number-one marriage expert

I've been coaching and mending ailing

marriages for over 10 years and I've

been responsible for saving thousands

upon thousands of marriages now not to

brag or anything but I do like to think

that I know my stuff and today in this

video I'm going to attempt to cover how

you should confront your cheating spouse

now I wish there was an easy answer to

this question but unfortunately there

really isn't

I also wish I could come up with a you

know sort of a simple 3-step solution

like I do in most of my videos but with

something as difficult and complex as

infidelity there really is no exact

blueprint first things first

before moving forward on confronting

your spouse you need to be almost a

hundred percent sure that they are in

fact cheating now I know that doing that

is really difficult in a lot of cases

and again there are no easy answers but

what you definitely do not want to do is

anything that would invade your spouse's

privacy you know so no hacking into

their phones or emails no following them

around and no calling his or her friends

to make sure they are where they say

they are a marriage should be built

fundamentally on trust and if you get

caught trying to snoop around in your

spouse's life then this trust is going

to be broken and you're gonna have an

entirely different issue on your hands

so in order for you to be as sure as you

can here are some quick tips to help you

first find out if your spouse is in fact

cheating number one is how's your

relationship declined have you noticed

that your spouse is becoming more

distant you know is he or she more apt

to start fights how's your sex life you

know how often do you spend one-on-one

time together if you've noticed any of

this kind of thing changed lately it

could be an indicator that your spouse

might be interested in someone else

the second sign of how you

observed any unusual behavior in your

spouse so one of the most telling signs

that your partner is cheating on you is

how they treat their phone so you know

have you noticed them fleeing to another

room to answer phone calls are they very

secretive when it comes to texting when

you ask them to use their phone do they

act a little strange if they're freaking

out about their privacy and the whole

use of their phone generally then this

could be a strong indicator that they

may be being unfaithful to you or at

least talking to someone that they don't

want you to know about number three

watch your finances so you know how's

your spokes been spending a lot of money

on something if so ask them about it you

know it's not rude or wrong to ask why

your spouse has been spending so much

money lately you know if there are

reasons for spending this money seem a

little off then that could be another

indicator that they are cheating or

doing something they don't want you to

know about number four if your spouse

isn't with you ask where they are again

it is not rude to to know where spouses

or to want to know where your spouses so

write down where they are and when they

are and try to sort of connect the dots

you know is that place even open is he

or she coming up with the same excuses

all the time you know if you do that you

might enter some strange patterns just

by asking them that one simple question

also know that even if these four

conditions are satisfied that doesn't

necessarily mean he or she is for sure

cheating on you but you know knowing

that your spouse is behaving in a

peculiar way it may encourage you to

learn a little bit more about their

potential infidelities now of course

there are other more drastic ways of

finding out if your spouse is cheating

it's not uncommon to hire a private

investigator but again I feel a little

weird trying to recommend this to

anybody if you are feeling desperate

then I guess this is a potential option

to explore now if you're absolutely

certain that your spouse is cheating on

you or you're as sure as you possibly

can be now comes the very difficult

question about what you should do about

it before we get into it I want to suss

out what your goals should be here first

so if you do indeed find out that your

spouse is cheating do you intend to stay

with him or her would you leave the

marriage and are you a hundred percent

certain that whatever you decide to do

is the correct course of action well if

you're watching this video then I'm

going to assume that you you are

to confront your spouse about the

cheating in such a way that it won't

burn any bridges so that is exactly what

I'm gonna teach you today in this video

now I know this is gonna be difficult

but first things first I really do

recommend that you approach the whole

situation with a calm mind set now I

know that's easier said than done

but you need to know that your spouse

when confronted is probably going to act

angry defensive and emotional at first

they're probably gonna try to lie deny

the infidelity and tell that you that

you're being crazy and you have to be

ready for this kind of reaction and and

not try to escalate the situation any

further instead know exactly what you're

gonna say before entering the

conversation and expect a fiery response

in return I also recommend talking in a

non accusatory tone of voice when

speaking to your spouse because really

you know as much evidence as you may

have there is always a chance that

there's just a misunderstanding

so speak to your spouse as if all you

want to know is the truth don't be

overly aggressive don't yell and don't

lash out and say things that you're

later gonna regret do your best to keep

your your body language your voice and

your emotions in check of course if you

absolutely want to nail your spouse on

this it's better to approach the

situation in a more roundabout way

because right now you have the upper

hand you know you know that something

might be up so instead of straight up

accusing your spouse directly trying to

ask questions to force them to lie about

something so because once you're

supposed knows that you're on to them

they're gonna take extra steps to

conceal their behavior and eventually if

they're sneaky enough they'll be able to

cover their infidelity completely and

you may never know the truth so you know

instead of jumping in with two feet it

is best to go about things strategically

so for example if your spouse said that

they were at the pub last night and you

have a sneaking suspicion that they

weren't actually there then ask them

which pub they went to then tell them

that you're your best friend was also at

the same pub last night as well and then

you know observe how your spouse reacts

do they panic are they calm if you do

catch them in a lie this is the time

where you can pounce and calmly you know

accuse them of cheating but if you are

unsure then continue probing them and

don't take the risk of being wrong

over a long period of time you can also

ask them the same questions over and

over and see if they change their

answers so for example if you're staying

long hours after work keep asking them

why they're staying at the office late

and keep doing this you know once or

twice a week and make note of what they

say you know Liars tend to give long

drawn-out explanations to conceal the

truth often their reasons and

explanations may be inconsistent or just

flat-out illogical and over time if you

keep doing this you're gonna be able to

build a stronger case and then you can

finally accuse them once you have enough

evidence of cheating on you and finally

once you've built your case

calmly present them with the reasons why

you know they're cheating again like I

said at the beginning of this video

remember that they are gonna lash out

and anger at you and deny everything

instead of responding in kind just show

them the evidence and once you both calm

down a little bit then you can you can

talk to your spouse about why he or she

cheated and if it's worth salvaging the

relationship if your goal is to

eventually fix the marriage then the

best way to recover and get over this

ordeal is to ask all the questions that

you need to ask really you need to know

why it happened and you need to calmly

talk about how to prevent this from ever

happening to you again now of course

this may not be an option and you may

very well indeed choose to end the


whatever you decide think long and hard

on what you want to do and I will say

this nobody deserves to be cheated on

twice again there is no surefire way to

approach this situation but the most

important thing is that you know the

truth if you guys do need additional

help on what you can do in this

situation and if you want to learn how

you can make your marriage cheat proof

in the future head on over to and watch the free video

there on my website again that's head over there right

now you won't regret it you're gonna

learn a lot more an alternative course

if you want me to help you navigate

through this very difficult situation

personally they just head over to

marriage guide calm / coaching and on

that page you'll see how you can you can

hire me and have me in your corner as

your marriage coach all right I'm gonna

keep this video short thank you so much

for watching and if you're in this

situation I wish you all the best of


bye for now