How to Apologize like a Fartbag

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Good morning, John.

I'm obviously still in the studio, they're tracking banjo in the other room.

They'd never think they'd be banjo tracking on one of my albums. But I'm not here to talk about music today, John.

I'm here to be talk about how to apologise.

Slogan of Nerdfighteria these past seven years has been: "Don't forget to be awesome!"

and that is a good slogan! Not because it is easy but because it is hard.

Being awesome requires constant vigilance and you will slip up.

Whether because of ignorance or because of selfishness, or because of outright malice

or because you're drunk. But you have a choice after you've done something crappy.

You can transform into one of two things:

either you can regain your awesome through actual apology

or you can become a fartbag.

A fartbag - this is a technical definition - is a person who hurts someone and then blames the person they hurt

for their pain. It's like they step on your toe and then you're like: "Aww" and then I was like:

"God, stop standing everywhere".

I understand you didn't mean to step on the person's toe

but you still did. And they're in pain and you caused it

so apologise!

So I put together some dos and don'ts on how to be awesome and not be a fartbag.

Don't blame people for how they feel.

If you're telling someone that you've hurt to not be so sensitive and they're such a delicate flower,